20 Ways to Feel ALIVE!
by I. M. Carter
Summary: AU Uh, remind me again why I'm blowing up buildings, dancing the tango with Madara Uchiha and kicking small children out of bounce houses... Oh yeah, that's right... to feel "alive." I hate my friends.
1. The Bet

**HELLO!**

**So recently I discovered this list called "50 Life Secrets and Tips" and it has CHANGED MY LIFE. Honestly, I've started to wean myself off soda, I've started to make my own mini-Lents and give up a different thing each week (This week I gave up hot showers), and I've even began writing in my unused journal on a regular basis.**

**But anyway, as I was exploring the website, I found another list called "20 WAYS TO FEEL ALIVE!" and some little light in my head went "DUDE, WE CAN USE THIS SHIT TO WRITE A CRACK FIC" and I was like "HELLZ YEAH WE CAN."**

**And thusly, this crack-fic was born.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this list or Naruto~**

**Oh yeah, NOTE, Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo in this fic are nice and stuffs. They're on the good side. I actually don't think there are any antagonists in this story… :O**

**-_- another note: I'll be modifying the original list a bit, in case you find it and attack me for not following the list. But I gotta make this interesting!**

-x-

"Forehead, you need to live a little," Ino snorted. I rolled my eyes. Tenten seemed to have caught me doing this.

"No seriously, Sakura. You've been acting very dead lately," she said with concern.

"I-I agree with Tenten-san," Hinata nodded.

I looked at Temari.  
>"Are you going to join this concern for me?" I asked with a smirk. The older girl munched a cookie noisily.<p>

"Sure. Sakura, you are acting dead and should start living some more," Temari said sarcastically, grabbing another cookie. Ino suddenly pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from what seemed like thin air and slammed both onto the table.

"Sakura, we will make a list for you. This list will be of ways to feel alive. If you are alive when it's done, then we will get off your back. But if not, we're sending you to a home for depressed people," Ino announced. This time it was Tenten who rolled her eyes.

"Ino, that bet sucks poop. Make it more interesting!" she bellowed.

"If you don't do everything on this list, we get to use you as a personal slave for a month. If you do everything on this list, we'll each ask out our crushes," Tenten offered.

The other four girls, who were listening intently, suddenly lurched forward.

"WHAT?" they screamed simultaneously.

"It's a deal," I grinned.

"Well then," Karin said, finally involving herself in the conversation, "we better make this list pretty damn hard."

**20 Ways to Feel ALIVE!**

**By Ino Yamanaka, Hinata Hyuuga, Temari no Sabaku, Tenten Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is, and Karin Too-Cool-For-A-Last-Name**

**1. Stick your body out of a sunroof while the car is moving.**

"Wow, Pig, that was lame," I noted.

"Shut up! It'll get harder over time!" she snarled.

**2. Strip tease a guy you've never met before.**

"PLEASE tell me you're joking."

"Oh, Sakura," Temari smiled, "I never joke."

**3. Destroy something!**

"Tenten…"

"Yes?"

"I worry about you."

**4. DANCE!**

"Very basic," I nodded.

Hinata blushed.

"W-we could t-take it o-off!" she stuttered. I laughed.

"It's fine Hinata!" I reassured her.

**5. Go camping in a tent with a guy. Make sure the tent is small and cramped so that you'll have to snuggle up with the guy awkwardly.**

"Karin."

"Yeah?"

"WHAT THE FUCK."

**6. Exercise**

"Tenten, you WOULD."

"Huh?"

**7. Watch the sunrise.**

"I can't argue with that one," I grinned to Hinata.

**8. Scare yourself.**

"What in blazes do you mean by that, Karin?" I asked confusedly.

"Face your fears. For example, if you are scared to death by spiders, go touch one!"

The six of us shuddered simultaneously.

**9. Do something ambitious in the rain.**

"Like, dance?"

"Or sing or kiss. Whatever floats your boat," Temari clarified.

**10. Blast your favorite badass song.**

"I think we can all agree that that one is acceptable," Ino announced. We all nodded enthusiastically. Well, everyone except Tenten, that is, who had a head spasm that was too violent to be considered a nod.

**11. GO SHOPPING~~~~~**

"I could've called that, Pig."

"Tee hee."

"And what's with all those squiggles? Were they really necessary?"

"YES!"

**12. Scream at the top of your lungs in a public place.**

"I approve!" I grinned at Karin.

**13. Do karaoke in front of an audience filled with people you don't know!**

"That'll be fun," I snorted.

**14. Do something spontaneous.**

"Tee… hee… hee…" I whispered evilly.

"I'm somewhat worried as to what she will do for this one…" Hinata whimpered.

**15. Practice an act of random kindness.**

"Aw Hinata, you're so cute!" I squealed, then promptly glomped her. The other girls followed, and the air filled with quips complimenting Hinata on her cuteness, sweetness, and her… Hinata-ness.

**16. Get to know a stranger.**

"Seriously Temari, you need a lesson in 'Stranger Danger,'" I scolded.

"What's that?"

"Exactly."

**17. Make love and/or have an outrageous make-out session.**

"As much as I want to say 'HELLZ NO' I have to admit, that does have the tendency of making one feel alive…"

Ino just grinned evilly.

**18. DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL.**

"Tenten, you really should get help for that."  
>"For what?"<p>

"Your… problems."

**19. Drive fast… REALLY fast.**

"TENTEN!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT!"

**20. Spend some quality time with your best friends.**

"Is this just an excuse for you all to have something to do?"

"No!" Ino screamed, just as Temari yelled "More like an excuse for you to hang out with us!" and Hinata murmured "Maybe…" and Tenten and Karin exclaimed "YESSSS!"

**Bonus ways (optional)**

**21. Swim in a cold pool, beach, or river.**

"Okay…That's perfectly normal…"

**22. Attend a funeral.**

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, KARIN!"

"No really, this makes you appreciate life!"

**23. You are NEVER too old for a Bounce House. Go find one and enjoy it!**

"Dude, I always wanted to go in a Bounce House overage!" I screamed at Temari with a grin.

"Uh, duh," she smiled.

-x-

Ino held the list up proudly. Then she frowned and looked at it again.

"What?" I asked confusedly.

"We need to make this bet official," she hissed, slanting her eyes at the paper. Then she slammed it back on the table and began scribbling on the bottom:

**The bet:**

**If Sakura Haruno cannot complete all these tasks in order in three days time (With the exception of the bonus tasks), she will be subject to serve Ino Yamanaka, Hinata Hyuuga, Temari no Sabaku, Tenten Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is, and Karin Too-Cool-For-A-Last-Name as a personal slave.**

**However, if Sakura Haruno is able to complete all these tasks, said girls are to ask out their crushes as follows:**

**Ino Yamanaka: Kiba Inuzuka**

**Hinata Hyuuga: Naruto Uzumaki**

**Temari no Sabaku: Shikamaru Nara**

**Tenten Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is: Neji Hyuuga**

**Karin Too-Cool-For-A-Last-Name: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Note to Sakura Haruno: Below each task, please specify what you did and include details of your juicy, sexy time. ;]**

"Okay girls, we all have to sign!" Ino instructed. The girls read over the terms of the bet and nodded approvingly. (Well, Hinata nodded numbly and blushed, seeing as her confession of love was pretty much staring her in the face) So we all signed at the bottom, below the terms.

"It's on, bitches," I grinned.

-x-

**Okay, I understand it's super short (only one thousand one hundred words! *gasp*) but I decided that this story would be in four chapters: one for each day in this bet. The first day obviously consists of the making of the bet, the official first day of the bet (SPOILER ALERT :P) consists of numbers 1-5, day two consists of 6-17 (That's gonna be a bitch to write =_=) and the third and last day consists of 18-20. There maayyyyyy possibly be a sixth chapter (aka, a fifth day/fourth day of bet) that will be of the bonus numbers. But that all depends on how DEMANDING you little readers are xD So… ja ne~**

**Don't forget to review~**

**/**

**\**

**/**

**\**

**V**


	2. Oh Dear, It's an Uchiha Overload

**HARRO~**

**Obviously you like this story enough to read the next chapter… so IZZY CHAN SAYS THANK YOUUUU~**

**Please be warned of the major OOC-ness! ;)**

-x-

I looked at number one of the list: Stick your body out of the sunroof while the car is moving.

"Hm," I murmured as I tapped my chin.

"Who do I know who has a car with a sunroof?" I asked myself. Then I snapped my fingers, remembering a certain man.

"To the Uchiha's!" I yelled.

-x-

"Sakura? What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"May I borrow a limousine and chauffer?"

"WHY?"

"No time to explain!" I huffed. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at me.

"No." He crossed his arms.

"BUT SASSSUKKKKEEEEEEE," I whined.

"Nope."

_**That bitch. Time to bring out the big guns!**_

_*gasp* You don't mean…_

_**I do.**_

_But… that's only for emergencies!_

_**THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.**_

I looked at Sasuke for a moment then blinked. My eyes grew ten times and my lower lip began quivering uncontrollably.

Yes. This is the puppy eyed face. No man on earth has been able to resist it.

"I said NO, Sakura," Sasuke said.

_SAFLKJGASLJKDFNADF WHAT THE FUCK. WHO IS HE?_

_**He's an Uchiha.**_

_GOD DAMMIT._

"Sasuke? Where are your manners?" a smooth voice scolded Sasuke from inside the house.

"Aniki, stay out of this," Sasuke snarled.

"Foolish little brother, when there are cute girls involved, how can I?" Itachi Uchiha asked innocently.

I flushed. This was THE Itachi Uchiha. The very same Itachi whom I have had a crush on for about let's see… five years, I believe?

"Itachi. If you attempt anything with Sakura, who, might I remind you, is only 17, you can and will be charged for being a pedophile, seeing as you are legal and she is not," Sasuke threatened.

"Oh please, Sasuke. I am a gentleman, unlike you. I would never try anything out of line with the beautiful Sakura Haruno," Itachi retorted, his eyes dancing. His gray eyes slid over to me.

"What is it you need, Sakura?" he asked politely.

"I want to borrow a limousine and a chauffeur to drive it," I replied, Inner jumping off the walls of my head.

"I will gladly lend you a limousine. However, I would never trust any other man driving you other than me. I will most certainly be your chauffer," Itachi suggested.

_**SAKURA. OH MY JASHIN, SAK. HE'S TOTALLY MOVING IN ON US. RAPE HIM NOW WHILE HE'S DELERIOUS!**_

_INNER!_

_**What?**_

_*Facepalm*_

"Aniki, I do not trust you in a limousine with Sakura," Sasuke hissed.

"Oh please, Sasuke. I will just drive Sakura to where she needs to go and come home. Don't worry," Itachi said, gliding to my side. He wrapped an arm around my waist and guided me away from the front door and to the garage of the Uchiha Manor. He led me to a shiny black limo and helped me into the backseat. He climbed into the front seat, put on a chauffeur hat, and looked at me through the small window behind his seat.

"Where to, ma'am?" he asked professionally.

"I just need you to drive anywhere at 40 miles per hour," I grinned. He gave me an odd look but turned the ignition on anyway.

-x-

"WHOOOO!" I screamed, flailing my arms. The wind was rushing past me and the people that drove past gave me weird looks that said "WTF is that pink-haired insane weirdo of a child doing?"

_**Ino-pig was right, this does make you feel alive!**_

_I think we might have to take Itachi and this limo all the time!_

_**When we buy a car, make sure it has a sun roof (and a comfy backseat for doing naughty things) plus an included Itachi Uchiha as a driver.**_

_._

_._

_._

"Remind me again why we are doing this?" Itachi called from the front seat. I lowered myself back into the backseat and closed the sunroof, grinning madly.

"Give me un momento," I said, putting up one finger in the universal "gimme a second" as

I whipped out a pen and the list.

**1. Stick your body out of a sunroof while the car is moving.**

_**Sakura Haruno successfully flailed her body out of a sunroof on the top of an Uchiha-owned limousine driven by none other than the Itachi Uchiha, who was driving at 40 miles per hour or higher.**_

"What is that?" Itachi asked when we stopped at a red light. He reached back and snatched the list from the small table. (How he did that I have no idea; his arms must be like, five feet long or something)

"Hey! Give that back!"

"Personal slave, huh?" Itachi smirked, reading the bet.

"HEYYYYYYYYY THIS ISN'T NICEEEEE!" I screamed, trying to get it back.

"I'll go camping with you," Itachi offered.

"You can also strip for me," he added seductively.

"LIKE HELL!" I roared, grabbing the list back.

Itachi blinked at me innocently.

"So is that a no on the stripping?" he… did he just whine?

_**HOLY SHIT SAK, WE MADE THE ITACHI UCHIHA, EMO EXTRORDINAIRE, WHINE. DUDE, I FEEL BEAST.**_

_YOU SHOULD._

"I totally would, Ita-kun, but it says I must do it to someone I don't know," I said, feigning sadness.

"But I don't want my Sakura-chan to strip and show her incredible body to a man I don't know," Itachi purred.

_**DUDE, I'M SERIOUS, HE'S TOTALLY FLIRTING.**_

_NO DUH._

_**WELL? GO RAPE HIM!**_

_Inner, if he's flirting with us and we jump him, it won't be rape. He would most definitely give consent…_

_**DUDE.**_

_Lolwut?_

_**WE CAN USE HIM FOR NUMBER SEVENTEEN.**_

_What? What's number seventeen?_

_**Make love and/or have an outrageous make-out session.**_

_:O_

"Sa~ku~ra, stop fantasizing about me and tell me where you need to go," Itachi said, smirking.

"Take me home then to Ichiraku's Dance Club."

-x-

"No, really Sakura, I don't want you to strip for some random guy," Itachi pouted (Dude, I had no idea he had the capability of doing that!) as we walked into the pulsing club.

"Fine, how about this, you find someone you know that I don't know, I do my thing, and if you feel the need, you can totally go beat them up, kay?" I suggested. Itachi slanted his eyes.

"Fine."

"Great. Now go find me a dude to strip tease for," I grinned. Itachi gave me one more full body scan then disappeared into the crowd. I found an opening at the bar and quickly ordered an apple martini.

The bartender eyed me, obviously not believing for one second that I was legal, then he saw my outfit and smiled a very perverted smile. He then immediately brought me my drink and with a sultry voice whispered, "It's on the house."

I awkwardly said thanks then went to find a table to sit at and wait for Itachi. I looked around and saw Itachi talking with a handsome blond man. Itachi caught sight of me and smiled then brought the man over.

"Sakura, you may do your 'thing' for this man," Itachi smirked.

I smiled seductively at the mysterious blond man and sat him down in a chair in front of me. Then I did my "thing."

I stood before the man, whose jaw was hung open, and began shimmying out of my leather jacket then out of my baggy jeans, revealing my only sexy lingerie (which, in my defense, was a birthday present from Ino-Pig). The hustler outfit was complete with fishnets that hooked to the bottom of my (very embarrassing) corset that hugged my waist and breasts. I shifted uncomfortably in my black thong. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Itachi's eyes slightly bulge then twitch uncontrollably.

By now, a crowd of pervy guys had gathered around me and the blond guy. They whistled and cheered, yelling that I should do the same for them after.

I walked to the blond guy and leaned down, holding his shoulders as I lowered my lips to his ear.

"You're pretty cute, you know that?" I whispered, feeling him shiver.

Seeing as I still had a lot of things to do after this, I decided it was time for the grand finale.

I straddled the guy and ground my hips dangerously close to the man's groin area. I heard a moan from the back of his throat, and he gripped my waist as I gave him the lap dance.

"Too bad this isn't real," I whispered, leaning my lips barely an inch away from his mouth.

"Huh?" the blond man gasped in surprise as I suddenly leapt up and shimmied back into my leather jacket and jeans.

The crowd of pervy guys aww-ed consecutively and dispersed quickly after receiving an Uchiha Death Glare © from Itachi.

I blinked at the blond man innocently.

"So, what's your name?" I asked with a small smile.

"I'm Deidara, un," he grinned.

"Hi, I'm Sakura Haruno," I replied, offering my hand to him. He shook his head.

"When I meet a pretty girl who just sexually violated me, we do NOT shake hands," Deidara smirked, "we do something else."

Then the stupid bastard hugged me.

And surprisingly, I hugged back.

_**Dude, what are you doing, hugging some strange man?**_

_Some strange man who we just strip teased for?_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Yes.**_

I quickly pulled the list out from my purse along with a pen. (FYI, yes, I did make Itachi hold my very _manly_ purse while I strip teased)

**2. Strip tease a guy you've never met before**

_**Sakura Haruno went to Ichiraku's Dance Club and strip teased (In that horrible hustler outfit Ino-Pig bought me) a very handsome guy who I have now discovered is named Deidara. He was smexy stuff, yes he was. Wait, he still is. Scratch that. He is smexy stuff, yes he is. :P**_

"Whatcha writin, Pinky, un?" Deidara asked, peering over my shoulder. I paused, rereading the bet. Nowhere did it say that I couldn't tell other people about it…

"You wanna help me, Deidei?" I grinned.

"Sure! It depends on what I'm helping with though," Deidara replied uneasily.

"Okay, so these monsters I consider best friends have given me this list of things to do, seeing as they are worried that I'm clinically depressed and all. So I have three days to do all twenty of these things. Alone, I don't think I have a chance, but if I have some allies…" I trailed off, looking at Deidara expectantly.

"Lemme see this list, un," Deidara paused, snatching the list from my hands. He scanned it with the occasional "da fuck?" expression passing over his face.

"Are you asking me to kill a person for number 22?" he gasped, a shocked look on his face.

I laughed, "No, after 20 it's optional. If there happens to be a dead person, then I'll be able to complete that task."

"Well I'll gladly help you with number seventeen, un," he smirked.

_**OH HELLZ NO, MANWHORE. THAT ONE IS RESERVED FOR ITACHI FUCKING UCHIHA. GO FUCK A DOORKNOB, YOU STUPID LITTLE WANKER.**_

_._

_._

_._

_Da fuck is a wanker?_

_**WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE.**_

"When the time comes, I shall do number seventeen with whoever seems to be at the right place at the right time," I retorted, "now, do you want to help me with number three or not?"

Deidara grinned wider than I'd ever seen a person grin.

"For your information, in my spare time, I blow things up. I would gladly help you with number three, un," he said, smiling evilly.

_**WAIT, HOLD UP. WE STRIP TEASED AND BEFRIENDED A DUDE WHO BLOWS THINGS UP IN HIS FREE TIME AS A HOBBY?**_

_Uh… yeah?_

_**Dude, I'm in love.**_

_With Itachi._

_**Uh…. Sure. Whatever.**_

"So what can we destroy slash blow up?" I asked as Itachi walked over.

"Well, the Akatsuki owns an abandoned old office building a couple miles outside of town…" Itachi said as an afterthought.

"So let's go then!" I cheered, running toward the door. But Itachi grabbed the collar of my leather jacket and pulled me back into his arms in a backward hug.

"Sakura, as much as I want to blow that stupid building up, we have to talk to the boss about it," Itachi murmured into my hair.

_**I hope the 'boss' is smexy…**_

_Dude, didn't you hear all the rumors?_

_**Lolwut?**_

_They say that the boss of Akatsuki is a brutal man from the Uchiha's that is known for his mercilessness. Plus they say he's a huge perv._

_**Oh please, he can't be that bad.**_

Unfortunately, he was.

-x-

"Well, well, well, Itachi, what do we have here?" a deep rumble of a voice chuckled darkly from the shadows of the lounge.

"This is Sakura Haruno. She has been assigned to do several things for her friends in order to prove a point. She requires our help as well as the old office building a couple miles out of town," Itachi explained briefly.

"And whatever would she need the building for?" the voice said, mocking me.

"She needs to blow it up, un," Deidara burst out.

"…"

An extremely awkward silence ensued.

"What kind of tasks are you assigned, Sakura Haruno?" the voice asked. I almost let out a gasp as the owner of the voice emerged from the shadows.

He had trademark ebony Uchiha hair and piercing red eyes. He wore baggy dark jeans and a sweatshirt from a Linkin Park concert. He didn't look older than 30.

"If I tell you, will you tell me your name?" I countered.

The man shook slightly as he laughed.

"My name is Madara Uchiha and I am the leader of the Akatsuki."

_**UCHIHA?**_

_Uh, yeah. I told you he was an Uchiha._

_**I only heard that he was a perv.**_

_That's all that matters to you, isn't it?_

_**Hellz yeah, bitch.**_

"I will only give you my list of tasks if you promise to offer the entire Akatsuki to aid me in the completion of my tasks," I growled.

Madara laughed again.

"I promise to offer the entire Akatsuki to aid you in the completion of your tasks."

I handed my list over to Madara.

His eyebrow raised.

"You strip teased for Deidara? Wanna do the same for me?" he smirked.

_I KNEW HE WAS A PERV._

_**CALLED IT.**_

"As much as I'd love to get on the good side of Madara Uchiha, I do have a time limit to complete these tasks."

"Number four: Dance," he read.

"Yeah, I'll probably go to Ichiraku's Dance Club for that one," I shrugged.

"Ms. Haruno, do you know how to tango?"

_**WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK?**_

_I have a bad feeling about this…_

"Oh yes, Uchiha-san, I actually do."

"Please, call me Madara," he grinned.

"Well, _Madara_, I do know how to tango."

"Once you are finished blowing up my building, go to 438 Sarutobi Street, third floor, second door on your left. Make sure to wear something that flows when you move. A dress would be ideal."

"Alright."

Then I turned on my heel and left, Deidara and Itachi trailing behind.

-x-

"You ready, un?" Deidara smiled slyly.

I eyed the abandoned office building and the dozens of explosives laced around its base.

"Dude, I was born ready."

Deidara slid the detonator over to me and looked at me expectantly.

I took a deep breath and pushed the big red button.

I screamed (I'm sorry, I couldn't help it!) when the huge _BOOM_ erupted before me. I watched in awe as the once tall building came crashing down in a cloud of dust and smoke.

"HOLY SHIT THAT WAS COOL," I gasped. Deidara just smiled.

"Art is a bang, un."

So I, as usual, whipped out the list.

**3. Destroy something!**

_**Sakura Haruno, with the help of new friend Deidara Iwa (Yeah, the dude she strip teased for), blew up an abandoned Akatsuki owned office building. IT WAS EPIKSAUCE © Sakura Haruno 2011. ;D**_

"Ah fuck," I said, reading the next item on the list, "I have to go meet Madara for some tango lessons. Knowing pervs like him, he probably trips over shoelaces he doesn't have…"

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Take me home please!" I commanded. Itachi led Deidara and I back to his limo (Yeah, we've decided to keep it for the next three days).

-x-

"And why, might I ask, do you have a tango dress?" Deidara asked incredulously.

"Well, it's my mom's; she and my dad were really into all forms of dance when they were my age. They flew all across the world to learn traditional dances from the dancers themselves. They loved to tango," I explained nonchalantly. I looked down awkwardly at the black and red dress. The mermaid skirt was a bright crimson while the bodice was black velvet. The bodice was a strapless sweetheart neckline with a naked back. How it stays up is beyond my knowledge.

"So… I guess it's time to dance?" Itachi asked softly, opening the door for me.

"I guess so."

-x-

"WHOAAAAA~" I said, looking around the room. I had just walked into the door that Madara had told me to go to and was absolutely shocked at what I saw.

The room was dimly lit with a dance floor and a small lounge in the back of the room. Madara was sitting on a couch in the lounge and sipping what looked like a martini.

"Ah, Sakura, so nice to see you," he smiled.

Itachi and Deidara scurried to the lounge and poured themselves some very alcoholic-looking drinks.

Madara made his way over to me and placed a hand on the small of my back.

"Let's dance, shall we?" he asked, taking my hand and spinning me around the floor. His hand on my back pressed me into his broad chest, making me blush slightly.

-x-

"Wow, Madara, I had no idea you could dance so well!" I gushed, plopping down on a couch. Itachi and Deidara had grown sick of watching us dance, so they'd retreated back to the limo for a nap.

"Well, Ms. Haruno, you surprised me with your dancing abilities as well," Madara said back.

"Oh c'mon, call me Sakura," I insisted.

_**Dude, I'm pretty sure he slipped something into that water he gave us…**_

_Waht was taht you siad?_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Exactly.**_

_Sotp it, yuo're jsut jlaoeus cuz he lieks meh mroe!_

_**WHAT?**_

_I siad, you're jsut jlaoeus cuz he lieks meh mroe!_

_**OHH. You said 'you're just jealous cuz he likes meh more!'**_

_DUH._

_**Seriously, before you know it, he's gonna be the one to do number seventeen with you. And he's a creeper!**_

_Go aawy, Inenr._

"So Sakura, I noticed a specific task on that list of yours…" Madara murmured, tracing circles on my arm.

"Which one?"

"I think it was… number seventeen…" Madara's face nuzzled into my neck, and his teeth leaned into my ear to nibble the lobe lightly. I giggled.

"Oh, that's the naughty one," I whispered back. Madara's lips grazed my cheek.

Just as his lips were about to touch mine, the door flew open.

"Madara! I'm here for my ballet lesson!" a voice called.

I looked at the now open door and saw a –very attractive– red head with hazel eyes staring slack jawed at Madara and I.

_**Sakura…**_

_Huh?_

_**SAKKURRAAA… *creepy voice and stuffs***_

_Lolwut?_

_**Number five…**_

_Da fuck?_

_**What's number five….**_

_Uh… camp with a guy?_

_**Yes…**_

_**CAMP WITH THIS DUDE.**_

_OH. AIGHT._

I slipped out of Madara's arms, much to his displeasure, and skipped to the redhead.

"Hi, I'm Sakura. You wanna go awkward camping with me?" I asked cheerily.

"Uh… well… I have this ballet lesson…"

"SCREW BALLET!" I screamed.

"B-but…"

"LET'S GO CAMPING, MANWHORE," I commanded, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out the door and down the stairs and then to the limo.

**[A/N: I lurve ballet (cuz of this amazing anime called Princess Tutu, go watch it) and my bestest friend is a ballerina… so please don't take offense to this outburst. Sakura is just drunk from the roofies that Madara slipped into her water. ;P]**

"Sakura? What are you doing?" Itachi demanded, spotting the redhead.

"I'M GOING AWKWARD CAMPING. TO MY HOMELY ABODE!" I screeched, waking up a very sleepy Deidara.

"Sasori? What are you doing here?" he asked nervously.

"Oh… Hi Deidara…"

An extremely awkward silence followed.

"..."

"…"

"MIND EXPLAINING WHY THIS AWKWARD SILENCE IS HAPPENING?" I suddenly burst out.

"Well, you see, Deidara and Sasori used to be lovers," Itachi explained smoothly.

_***GASP***_

_DUDE, THEY'RE GAY._

_**NO WAY. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A BEST GUY FRIEND WHO'S GAY.**_

_OMJ IKR._

As if reading my mind, Sasori smirked.

"We're not gay, we're bisexual. In fact I find you very attractive," he chuckled.

_**Damn…**_

"Well, newly friended bisexual bestie, we are going to my house where I will change out of this horrid dress and get some camping supplies. Speaking of which, Itachi could you take me to some sporting place to buy a tent?"

"Certainly," Itachi replied, firing up the ignition.

**4. Dance!**

_**Sakura Haruno tangoed with the infamous leader of the Akatsuki, whose name is Madara. He's a super perv and she's pretty sure he slipped something in Sakura's drink because she almost did number seventeen with him. It was awkward.**_

"Woo!" I screamed, sticking my torso out of the sunroof again.

-x-

"Okay, so call us when you're done camping," Itachi instructed as Sasori and I piled out of the limo.

"ALRIGHTTTT~!"

Sasori and I ran off through the woods with our bags in tow.

I laughed at Sasori's wide grin, knowing that I was the cause of his odd happiness. I had switched his harmless Sprite with a Red Bull because, ya know, a boring Sasori is kinda... ya know... boring.

"Hey Sakura! This looks like a good spot!" Sasori exclaimed, finding a small clearing on the side of a nice trail.

"Let's set up our tent!"

Sure it was like, midnight and pitch black, but that's what makes setting up tents fun!

-x-

"Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"This is too hard. I can't see a thing. Can you pleasseeee put on the flashlight so we can go to sleep? I'm pooped," Sasori whined.

"Fine…"

-x-

"Sakura?"

"WHAT."

"Why did you pick such a small tent?"

"Because my friend made me."

"Oh."

"…"

"Do you mind that I'm like, on top of you?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

"…"

"Hey Sakura?"

"KAMI, I AM GOING TO GO INSANE."

"…"

"…"

"Nevermind."

Soon I heard Sasori's light snoring. As I began to fall asleep myself, I felt a very suspicious arm loop around my waist.

"…"

I quietly reached for the list and a pencil.

**5. Go camping in a tent with a guy. Make sure the tent is small and cramped so that you'll have to snuggle up with the guy awkwardly.**

_**Oh Kami, Karin. This is so awkward… So I'm lying in this super small kids size tent on an air mattress that's barely off the ground with this guy named Sasori no Akasuna. He's bisexual and does ballet. Plus I made him drink a Red Bull, so he crashed pretty hard. But his arm just wrapped around my waist in his sleep. And I have no idea why I'm NOT punching his lights out… **_

-x-

**:D**

**I should probably tell you that I actually have all the chapters written. I'll be updating once a week during the weekend. It'll only be about five chapters, I believe. Then a bonus chapter if you guys want. :) Soooooo on liek, Saturday next week, I'll post chapter 3, which, by the way, has the scene that is the entire reason behind why this is an M rated fic. Yes, that's right. my first lemon. Oh myyyyy~**

**I would like you all to know that reviews are my LIFE and everytime you review, a platypus gets its wings and is released into the world to deliver happiness upon small children and adults who are very much in touch with their inner child. Also, this happiness is in the form of blueberry crumb moofins from Shoprite. :D ( i LOVE blueberry crump moofins from Shoprite. They are my second favorite breakfast... right after toasted everything bagels with melted cream cheese... YUMZ)**

_**It won't take long! Just take two seconds out of your life and if it takes longer, express your anger in a REVIEWWWWW. :P**_

_**Oh yeah... I should mention. I am changing my username right after I post this chapter. I won't be Issy111 anymore. I will be known as...**_

_**I. M. Carter**_

_**:)**_

_**Thanksies~**_

**R**_**e**__v_I**e****w**_!_

_/_

_\_

_/_

_\_

_/_

_\_

_V_


	3. Bejeezus, Could My Day Get Any Odder?

**YOU GUYS! In ONLY TWO CHAPTERS, I had 18 people add this story to their story alert list, 5 people favorite it, 12 review, and one person favorite author me up. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING AND I WISH YOU ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS IN FEBRUARY. Because I love you guys_ that _much. :D**

**May sparkling unicorns dressed in original Rarity designs rain old VHS videos upon your houses, so you can all re-enjoy the magic of VHS video tapes. :)**

**(I'm REALLY in the mood to watch Sleeping Beauty, Anastasia, and Pocahontas...) ^^  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Naruto, Tiny Towers, Apple, It's Raining Men (by the Weather Girls), or Never Say Never by Justin Bieber (don't judge me!) feat. Jaden Smith (cutest kid EVAH!)**

_**OMFG! LEMON ALERT! LEMON AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**_

-x-

"SASORI, WAKE UP! THERE'S A BEAR ATTACKING OUR TENT!" I screamed, shaking the sleeping red head. His eyes opened frantically.

"WHAT? Don't worry, Sakura! I'll protect you!" he said, panicking to wrap his arms around me. I laughed.

"Stupid Sasori, there's no bear," I grinned. His sleepy eyes glared at me.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get dressed!"

"WHY? It's like…" Sasori glanced at his phone, "oh Kami, it's two AM! I haven't even been asleep for two hours!"

"GET DRESSED, WE NEED TO GO EXERCISE," I yelled.

Sasori's eye twitched.

-x-

"Where (huff) are we (puff) going?" Sasori asked as he jogged beside me.

"Up the (pant) mountain!"

"(Wheeze) WHAT? That's (hack) like, impossible!"

"No it (gasp) isn't!"

-x-

**6. Exercise**

_**Sakura Haruno and Sasori no Akasuna unhappily ran up a mountain. It was not enjoyable. But she does feel a bit more alive… :3**_

-x-

"Remind me again why we're on the top of this mountain," Sasori groaned as he plopped down on the rock bed.

"Look!" I pointed into the distance. I heard Sasori gasp.

"It's beautiful," he breathed.

I watched as streaks of pink and orange spilled over the horizon. The sun slowly inched its way above the horizon line.

"Wow…" I whispered.

"This was worth the hour long run," Sasori said, his eyes fixed on the beauty of the colored sky.

"Definitely."

-x-

**7. Watch a sunrise.**

_**Oh Kami, Hinata! It was so pretty! With all the colors across the sky and the lights leaking over the horizon! Oh that was worth the hour long run! Yeah, I watched the sunrise from the top of a mountain. It was awesome!~**_

-x-

"Did you two enjoy your camping experience?" Itachi asked with an amused smirk.

"YES!"

"It was okay."

I growled at Sasori.

"You got to awkwardly cuddle with me in your sleep, and you say it was 'okay'?" I screamed, punching the stupid red head.

"So what's next on the list, un?" Deidara said quickly to change the subject. I glanced down at the paper.

"Scare yourself."

"Well that's easy. What are you freaked out by?"

"Oh ever since I was little I've had the fear of clowns named It who eats little kids and being buried alive," I shrugged.

"…"

"I know the perfect person."

"Kami help me…"

-x-

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD. WHY WOULD YOU WAKE ME UP? WHAT FUCKING REASON WOULD YOU HAVE FOR DOING SUCH A FUCKING THING?" a man with silver hair and magenta eyes snarled to Itachi.

"Because I knew that you'd love burying this girl alive."

The man's oddly colored eyes slid over to me.

"Why the fuck does she want to be buried alive?"

"She has her reasons."

"Yeah? Then why does she look like she's about to shit her fucking pants?"

"…"

-x-

"Okay Sakura, just remember that you have your iPod, and you'll be out in ten minutes, well before your air tank runs out. You have an entire hours worth of oxygen at your disposal," Itachi assured me as he curled my fingers around my iPod named Gertrude.

"B-b-but what if you guys forget about me?" I asked in a small voice.

"Oh Sakura, we could never forget about a cutie like you," Itachi said with a small grin.

Then he raised my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles tenderly.

"Now lie down and close your eyes."

I did as I was told and heard the uncomforting squeak of the coffin hinges closing.

The coffin slowly moved downward.

"HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT," I hyperventilated.

_**SAKURA.**_

_WHAT?_

_**Take your earbuds and place them into your ears.**_

I stiffly did as Inner told me.

_**Good. Now press play.**_

As my finger lowered to the screen to touch the play button, a strange noise stopped me.

_What was that?_

_**Idk…**_

I opened my eyes and was greeted by darkness.

"Hee hee hee hee hee…" the noise laughed.

_OH MY KAMI._

"Hello Sakura… Would you like to come down here with me? Down here, we all float…"

A screen on the top of the coffin (how had I missed that?) buzzed on and the last face I wanted to see flickered into view.

"IT!" I shrieked and clawed at the walls.

"Hi there. What's your name? My name is Pennywise," It cackled. Then It smiled at me.

I let out a scream.

-x-

"Should we really have done the clown thing?" Deidara asked worriedly.

Sasori just shrugged from the chair he sat in. In front of him was a screen that showed the freaked out Sakura in the coffin. On his head sat a pair of headphones and a microphone.

He paused then began to speak into the voice-changing microphone, "Hi there. What's your name? My name is Pennywise." He smiled into the camera that detected his facial movements and morphed them into a smile on the creepy clowns face.

The Sakura on the monitor screamed.

-x-

"GET AWAY FROM ME! I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD STUPID DEIDARA I HAVE A FEAR OF YOU!" I screamed at the screen. Pennywise just smiled that creepy smile, his teeth yellow, sharp, and yearning for blood.

I shut my eyes and felt my lungs breathe in short and choppy breaths.

_Think… what was it that killed Pennywise in the movie?_

_**Silver right in death's headlights.**_

_…_

_Not exactly what I was looking for._

_**Oh… Well, Bill and everyone was all like "You're not real! Leave us alone cuz we're not scared of you!"**_

_You're right!_

_**We need to face our fear!**_

_That's right!_

_**Let's do it!**_

_Alright!_

_**You're abusing your right to use the word "Right."**_

_Apologies…_

I cracked open my eyes to see a grinning Pennywise.

"Good morning Sleepy Beauty," he whispered.

I focused on Pennywise's ugly face and hardened my stare into a full blown glare that I'd learned from years of being best friends with Sasuke.

"Shut up and listen, you disgusting demon," I hissed. Pennywise withdrew for a moment. Then he retaliated.

"I've been listening all this time, Sakura. I heard when you were making that stupid bet with your friends. I heard when you confessed your crush to your friends. I've even heard your tears hit the ground. Those tears fell because of your dead parents. They are dead, aren't they? Those lucky whores. They don't have to deal with a bitch like you anymore," Pennywise said with an evil glint in his nightmere-ish eyes.

I felt my eyes tear up. I clenched my jaw and my fists.

"You don't know a thing. You know nothing. You haven't been listening at all!" I yelled, my eyes squeezed shut to prevent the tears from leaking out, "that stupid bet was the best thing that ever happened to me! And for your information, I never told my friends about my crush on Itachi!

"You're wrong about everything, Pennywise. My tears were never spilled over my parents. They never wanted to see me cry. They wanted to see my smile, so at their funerals I smiled in thanks for their lives and the great life they gave me. Why mourn for something you can never have back when you can smile and laugh as you remember the great memories you have? My parents loved me, and I know that. You're nothing but a figment of my imagination, Pennywise. AND I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU," I screamed.

I fumbled as I grabbed Gertrude and shoved my earbuds back into my ears. I hit play and drowned myself in music, my eyes closed the entire time.

-x-

Sasori stared at the screen for a moment before turning off the camera and pulling off the headphones.

"Uh, wow," he mumbled.

"I never knew she felt that way about me…" Itachi murmured.

"Good job Sakura, un."

"That bitch is pretty brave. I would've shit my pants if I was buried alive and trapped with a scary-ass clown."

"I think it's time we bring Sakura back on top of land," Sasori said quietly.

-x-

I jumped when I felt the coffin begin to move upward.

_Oh thank Kami…_

_**Wow Sak. You were pretty brave back there.**_

_Oh why muchas gracias._

_**Anytime!**_

_Ya know Inner, I don't think I could've made it without you here…_

_**Oh please, all I did was remind you what happened in the movie. Nothing special.**_

_No seriously. Even though you're this little creeper in the back of my mind and I'm pretty sure I'm schizophrenic, having you with me really helped because I knew I wasn't alone._

_**Awwww. You're so cute!**_

-x-

"Uh, guys? I don't think we should tell her that I was Pennywise…" Sasori said uneasily.

"Why not, un? So Sakura won't know that you were the one who made her cry?" Deidara snickered. Sasori glared at Deidara.

"No. I just think that if we act as if we had no idea what happened in the coffin, it won't be awkward. Because if we know about everything she said, we may run into a couple issues…"

"Sasori's right. I have a feeling that if she didn't even tell her friends about liking me then she definitely wouldn't want us knowing," Itachi agreed.

They watched as Hidan brought the coffin up from the hole and slowly creaked open it.

The four men gasped.

The Sakura before them was as pale as a sheet.

-x-

Yeah, so I suppose I faced my fears.

I mean, ever since I followed Sasuke-kun home one day in my fangirl days and he forced me to watch "It" with him as punishment, the demonic clown had never been far from my mind. Plus that comic strip I read as a little girl of a bear about to be buried but it turned out he was just in hibernation didn't help the development of the fear of being buried alive.

But here I am, alive after being in a coffin underground for who knows how long with the clown of my nightmares.

This bet might not be so bad after all.

-x-

"Sakura? Talk to me. Sakura, look at me!" Sasori said wildly, shaking my shoulders.

I blinked after a moment.

"Wha?"

The four men before me all let out relieved breaths (even the creeper who buried me! Who woulda thunkit?).

"We were so worried, Sakura, un! You came up looking almost dead!" Deidara wailed, wrapping me in his muscular arms.

"Well, you would've died too if you were buried alive and emotionally scarred by a clown who eats little children!" I retorted.

Itachi and Sasori shared a glance. (They thought I didn't see. Stupid hos.)

"Emotionally… scarred?" Itachi asked, his lips dipped in a frown.

"By a clown?" Sasori scoffed.

_Maybe it was all in my head…_

_**Are you suggesting that I share this giant forehead of yours with our worst nightmare?**_

_Perhaps._

_**I want out.**_

_What do you mean?_

_**I mean, let me out of this place! D:**_

_NEVAH. This is payback, bitch._

_Hello there, ladies._

_**Who da fuck is you?**_

_My name is Pennywise._

_**HOLY SHIT SAKURA, LET ME OUT OF HERE!**_

_Not a chance, ho!_

My eyes inwardly widened as I tuned Inner out so Pennywise could torture her.

"Yes, by a clown. Now tell me Itachi, what could possibly be next on our list?" I turned my attention to Itachi, who was already pulling the list out of my purse.

"Number nine: do something spontaneous in the rain," he read. I paused.

"Is it going to rain anytime soon?" I asked, looking to the perfectly cloudless sky.

"Yeah… like, next month," the creeper who buried me scoffed.

"How in blaze's name is that soon?"

"It's soon if you're immortal as I am!"

"Holy shit, you're immortal?"

"I wish."

"Eff. Anyway, how am I supposed to do something spontaneous in the rain if it's not raining?" I grumped angrily. I wasn't even halfway done with the list and we were already losing precious time thanks to the stupid weather!

I saw Sasori and Itachi exchange yet another glance.

"Where's Pein at this time of day?"

_What a perfect chance for a great joke!_

_**HELP MEEEEE**_

_And when I was 4, I tasted human blood for the first time. It immediately became my favorite type of blood. Animal blood was nothing in comparison._

_**OH MY KAMI, LEAVE ME ALONE.**_

_B-but… I don't have any other friends… this giant forehead is very lonely…_

_I heard that._

"Hey Sasori, you have something on your arm!" I grinned.

"Huh? What?"

I punched him in the bicep.

"IT WAS PAIN."

"Wrong Pein, Sakura," Itachi commented lazily as Sasori rubbed his arm with a whimper.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Just get in the limo."

-x-

**8. Scare Yourself**

_**FML. I was buried alive and trapped six feet under with a clown named Pennywise who turns out to be living in my head. Fun fun fun.**_

-x-

"What."

"Didn't you say you could make it rain?"

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Do it."

"What?"

"Do it. Right now."

"Why should I?"

"So you can do something spontaneous with this girl right here." Itachi pointed at me standing behind me. The carrot top in the doorway frowned.

"Spontaneous?"

Rolling my eyes, I shoved the infamous list into his hands and watched as his lavender eyes skimmed the paper.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"We need you to make it rain," Itachi scoffed as if it were the more obvious than the fact that he was sexy.

"Fine. Go around to the backyard. I need to make preparations," the redhead sighed, jerking a thumb towards the back of his house.

-x-

"His preparation was getting into swimming trunks? Really?" I asked incredulously.

Pein, whose name I had found out upon entering his backyard from Itachi, had emerged from his back door with only a pair of black swimming trunks that showed off his toned chest.

"Now, I call upon the Gods of water to grant me my abilities. Let me make it rain upon this girl and I so she can gloat to her friends and not be their personal slave," Pein said in a calm voice, picking up a hose and closing his eyes.

"What the…"

I watched as he pointed the hose straight up and squeezed the nozzle. Water sprayed up and arched back down to cover us in what looked and felt like rain.

"Do your spontaneous act," he said under his breath.

I inhaled deeply and belted out my prepared act.

"Humidity's rising... Barometer's getting low... According to all sources, the street's the place to go! Cuz tonight for the first time just about half past ten, for the first time in history, it's gonna be raining men!" I screamed, dancing around under the makeshift rain. I grinned as Sasori and Deidara, like the smexy bisexuals that they are, joined in on my song.

Itachi slapped his forehead, and Hidan just laughed at my antics.

"Cute," Pein said sarcastically. I stuck my tongue out at him; he was obviously enjoying my spontaneous act, I saw his lips slightly mouthing all the words to the song.

_**Oh Kami… if it actually rained men… men like Itachi and company…**_

_I'd die. I would die from sexiness overload._

_What, aren't I enough for you?_

_**Ew. Just… ew.**_

As Sasori, Deidara, and I finished off our song, I felt the "rain" lessen.

Itachi handed me a towel and as I dried off, I looked at Pein.

"Mind if I steal your outdoor table?"

Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed my purse from Itachi and slammed down the list onto the table.

**9. Do something spontaneous in the rain.**

_**Lolololololol. It didn't rain so my new friend, Pein, sprayed water on me as I sang and danced "It's Raining Men." Appropriate, right?**_

-x-

"Oh. Damn."

"What?"

"I just realized that I'm skipping school."

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so?'? MY PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD IS DONE FOR! And you know what they say about the more absences you have… THE LONGER IT TAKES

TO GET A BOYFRIEND. EFF MY LIFE."

"Forget your stupid girly problems! It's already 11:30 AM and we have a lot of things to do!" Sasori growled.

"Speaking of which, what's next?" Hidan asked lazily, flipping through the channels of the limo television.

"Number 10: Blast your favorite badass song," Sasori read quickly.

"Hm…"

"Where can we do that?"

"If we have someone skilled in the art of lock-picking, then I know exactly where we can go," I said with a grin.

"I know the perfect person."

"What is it with you Akatsuki and 'knowing people'?"

"A better question is why am I here with you guys?" a new voice interjected.

"Shut up Pein."

"I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!"

-x-

"Remind me again why I'm back in this hellhole?" Konan asked sleepily.

"Because you love me," Pein replied as he crept with us.

"Correction. I _used_ to love you. But then we broke up. So your point is invalid."

"Oh shush."

"Okay Konan, I need you to pick that lock!" I grinned, pointing at the door.

"That's it?" she frowned, inspecting the lock.

"Yeah…"

"Pfft, a _child_ could pick this lock! The _MZX-17-43 Kuma _series is such a crappy line of locks. One of the easiest to pick!" Konan proclaimed expertly** (A/N: Totally madeup that name. But it sounds cool, right? :D)**. Then she did what I did not expect.

She pulled out a piece of paper (decorated in pink and purple butterflies, no less) and began folding it.

But to my amazement, the single index-card-sized paper transformed into a cool looking origami thing within a minute.

Konan inserted the pointy tip of the paper object into the doorknob and wiggled it around a bit before a satisfying _click_ was heard. She smirked the distinctive smirk of victory.

"WHOOP WHOOP!" I yelled, charging into the PA-slash-security room. The poor students in it cowered in the corner as Itachi locked the door again once the seven of us were inside.

Sasori presented me with the prize: a CD. I evilly smiled as I pushed it into the stereo and flicked on the PA system.

"Hello students of Konoha!" I said into the microphone. On the several screens around me, I saw students who were in the process of changing classes stop and listen to the announcement made by yours truly.

"This is Sakura Haruno and the Akatsuki saying GOOD MORNING AMERICA! Whoops, wrong show. But anyway, we've broken into the PA room and taken control. So listen to this announcement or die. Thanks. This one goes out to a couple bitches out there who are making me do this random shit. You know who you are," I continued, gradually moving the mic to the stereo speakers.

Then I hit play.

_Party Rock!_

_Yeah._

_Whoo!_

_Let's go!_

_Party rock is in the house tonight!_

_Everybody just have a good time!_

_And we gon' make you lose your mind!_

_Everybody just have a good time!_

_Clap!_

_Party rock is in the house tonight!_

_Everybody just have a good time!_

_And we gon' make you lose your mind!_

_We just wanna see ya…_

_Shake dat._

I let a grin overtake my face as I saw students in the halls gasp at the sound of their seemingly favorite song.

Then the most incredible thing happened.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. PERSON. IN THE SCHOOL. STARTED SHUFFLING.

_Everyday I'm shuffling~_

I watched in awe as Kakashi broke out into a fit of shuffling.

Then Anko began as well (she was actually quite talented in the art of shuffling!)

I cringed when Orochimaru saw his students shuffling and attempted it in a failed try to be cool. But he was shuffling nonetheless.

It was music to my… eyes…?

Or… beauty to my eyes?

Uh… rainbows to my pot of gold?

Perhaps… poop to my toilet paper?

Okay, I'll stop now.

But unfortunately, I saw Tsunade, our busty principle who doubles as a doctor on occasion, stop shuffling and stomp in the direction of the PA room. Every camera she passed only counted down the time until our deaths, seeing as she looked pretty pissed.

"GUYS LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed to the shuffling Akatsuki. They immediately stopped and together we all bolted out of that school like bats out of hell.

-x-

**10. Blast your favorite badass song.**

_**Uh, you guys were all witness to the incredibleness that is Sakura Haruno, right? Because I saw all of you in the cameras shuffling to my favorite badass song. So don't you **_**dare **_**deny the fact that I totally blasted Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO on the school's PA system, making everyone simultaneously shuffle. Including Orobitch. Which I believe I should be awarded for.**_

-x-

"Great. Just great. I just HAD to be stuck with some closet pervs who have unlimited credit cards at the mall? What did I do to deserve this?" I wailed as Madara, Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara dragged me into the huge Konoha mall.

Our group had become smaller; Itachi dropped Hidan off at some "Jashinist" convention, and we dropped both Konan and Pein off at Pein's house. Come to think of it, they're probably having some makeup sex right now while I suffer. (They didn't think I noticed their closeness in the limo. Pfft. Everyone underestimates the incredible-ness that is Sakura Haruno!)

"LET'S GO TO VICTORIA'S SECRET FIRST!" Madara screamed with a perverted glint in his red eyes.

"OH KAMI, NO! ANYTHING BUT VICTORIA'S SECRET!" I cried, clawing at the ground. Several bystanders stared at me. I looked at them desperately.

"HELP ME! THEY'RE PLANNING TO KIDNAP ME AFTER FINDING ME VERY NICE LINGERIE AND THEN THEY'LL LIEK, RAPE ME OR SOMETHING!" I called out to them.

One girl I passed snickered and whispered to her friend. But I heard her anyway. You wanna know what she said?

"I wouldn't mind going lingerie shopping with those men. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if they wanted to rape me. But of course it wouldn't be rape, because they'd totally have my consent."

_EWWWWWWWWW. SEX WITH MADARA, SASORI OR DEIDARA? A FIVE WAY? GROSSNESS!_

_**That girl was onto something…**_

_Indeed. I find your male friends highly attractive, Sakura._

_O_o_

_**…**_

_I mean… if I were a woman… I'd want to tap that._

_**Oh my Kami…**_

_No, please understand, they are obviously very handsome and –_

_Just shut up before you dig yourself into a deeper hole._

_**Tee hee. That's –**_

_WHAT SHE SAIDDD~_

_**OH HELLZ NO, MANWHORE. YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE.**_

_BITCH, I LIVE THERE._

_**YOU WANNA GO? HUH? YOU WANNA GO?**_

_FUCK YEAH I WANNA GO._

_What the fuck is going on? I'm so confused…_

"They have a new line of corsets and thongs!" I heard Madara squeal excitedly.

"Itachi, save me!" I pleaded to my long time love interest. He cast me a pitied glance.

"This is for your own good. I want you to win that bet," he protested. I sniffed away from him.

"No. You've betrayed me, Itachi. I can no longer trust you," I said overdramatically. Itachi's usually stoic eyes clouded with worry.  
>I could practically read him and his OOC-ness.<p>

My Opinion of What's Going On In Itachi's Head:

_Oh Kami… she can't trust me anymore? NO! THAT'S NOT GOOD. WHAT WILL I DO? SAKURA MEANS ACTUALLY A LOT TO ME AND STUFFS AND SHE MAKES ME SO OUT OF CHARACTER! NO ONE BUT HER CAN DO THAT!_  
><em>I'd save her from the perverted hands of Madara but… honestly… I kinda wanna see her in some sexy lingerie…<em>

I almost gasped.

Itachi… is a _closet perv?_ WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?

-x-

What's REALLY Going On In Itachi's Head:

_I could really go for some dango right now… I wonder if there's a dango stand somewhere in this place… Mmmmm… Dango… Green tea dango is my favorite… I wonder if Okaa-san is planning on making me bento boxes for lunch tomorrow. I sure hope she packs onigiri with seaweed. I love my onigiri with seaweed, yes I do. Yum…_  
><em>Hey… wait a second… is that Madara trying to get Sakura to strip?<em>  
><em>Perhaps I should do something about that.<em>

-x-

I watched in shock as Itachi blinked for a moment at the sight of Madara shoving me into a stall with a pile of neon lingerie. Then he did what I did NOT expect for him to do.

Itachi did _nothing_. He didn't sweep me out of Madara's creepy grasp. He didn't punch Madara. He didn't even slap him silly. He just sat down and watched.

"ITACHI YOU BASTARD!" I screamed just before Madara successfully shoved me into the stall. An underwear cloud seemed to float into the stall and proceed to rain various garments that were horrifying to just look at.

"Sakuraaa~ We can't leave until you try on at least five things in the pile I gave you," Madara sang in a scarily innocent voice.

"FINE. But only because I want to win that bet!" I whined, shimmying out of my comfortable sweatpants and tank.

-x-

"LE GASP!" Madara screamed when I walked out of the stall for the fifth time. I rolled my eyes.

He'd done that _every single time _I came out of this stall. Luckily, this racy thong and bra combo was the last instrument of my torture.

"Okay Madara," I said, wincing slightly at the flash of his camera, "can we please move on?"

"Oh, Sakura darling," Madara scolded, "don't remember? The task was not 'make Madara horny' the task was 'go shopping.' Therefore, we must buy everything we think will look good on you!" Sasori and Deidara took this as their cue to run around the store and grab anything racy and in my size. Itachi just quietly played Tiny Towers on his iPhone.

"OH MY GOD, MAKE IT STOP!" I cried as the cashiers face nearly blew up from blushing at the sight of how many articles of intimate clothing the three men had picked out.

-x-

**11. GO SHOPPING~~~~~**

_**Note to self: never go shopping at Victoria's Secret with three perverted men EVER. AGAIN. *shudder* But they had credit cards worth more than Sasuke's boxers, so I'll keep that in mind when looking for a husband.**_

-x-

"You guys are such closet pervs," I grumbled, curling up into the backseat of the limo.

Itachi chuckled. Madara just smiled.

"Oh Sakura, I am no closet perv. I am very open about my interests in the female anatomy," he purred.

"Get away from me before I go all Shannaro on yo ass."

-x-

"LET'S GO TO ICHIRAKU'S!"

"Might I ask why?"

"So I can scream in Sasuke's ear…"

"Best idea you've had yet."

-x-

"The eagle is in the nest. I repeat, the eagle is _in_ the nest."

"You don't need to say that, un. We're right here. We can hear you just fine, un…"

"Don't even start with me, Deidara."

I hopped out of the limo with two Uchiha's and two bisexual artists trailing behind. I crept quietly behind Sasuke, who was bent over a bowl of fresh ramen. I felt my vocal cords tighten as I readied myself for my favorite voice.

"OHMIGAWD, IT'S SASUKE-KUN!" I squealed in my best fangirl voice, "AND HE'S ALONE! COME ON GIRLS, LET'S GET HIM!" Sasuke jumped about ten feet into the air, successfully knocking over his barely touched bowl of ramen. Then he ran down the street. Several people stared at me in shock.

"Nice one," Sasori noted before giving me a high five.

"What a waste, though," Itachi said mournfully, glancing at the spilt ramen.

Somewhere, Naruto was crying.

But I didn't hear him over the sound of me running down the back stairs of Ichiraku's to the dance club. (The very same one where I strip teased for Deidei!)

-x-

**12. Scream at the top of your lungs in a public place.**

_**I scared the crap out of Sasuke when I screamed like a fangirl behind him. He ran off as if there were tomatoes at the end of that road. Twas muchas entertaining-es.**_

-x-

"Okayyy, let's get some brave souls up here for a good round of classic karaoke!" the emcee grinned from the stage.

"GREAT!" I yelled, slamming my shot glass down onto the bar and dashing up to the stage.

"Hi I'm Sakura Haruno and I want to sing a song for y'all!" I said with a slight slur.

"Okay, let's let the pretty lady sing us a song!" he smiled, handing me the mic.

I scrolled through the list and drunkenly laughed at the sight of "Macho Man" but when I went to select it, my finger slipped and I ended up picking some song that I didn't see.

But when the beat of the song started, I wanted to die.

"OH KAMI. I'M SO SORRY GUYS, I DIDN'T MEAN TO PICK THIS SONG," I apologized to the crowd, who was already booing.

"OH PLEASE NO, IT'S STARTING!" I cried.

But seeing as the emcee was blocking the stage stairs with a "aw-hell-naw-you-gotta-finish-what-you-started" face on, I had no choice but sing.

"I never thought that I could walk through fire… I never thought that I could take the burn. I never had the strength to take it higher… until I reached the point of no return. But there's no turning back, when your hearts under attack. Gotta give everything I have, It's mah destiny! I will never say never…. I will fight 'til forever! Whenever you knock me down, I will not stay on the ground, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up up up, and never say never," I sang, throwing in a couple of random dance moves Temari had shown me.

I kept reading and singing and randomly dancing until I realized the song was over and the entire club was cheering.

I grinned. But then I had a horrifying realization when I looked down.

It turns out that sometime during my random dance moves, my tank top, which wasn't very form fitting to begin with, had shimmied up my waist and my sweatpants had inched down my hips. So the new thong I'd just bought from Victoria's Secret that Madara forced me to keep on was showing for every male to see.

_So THAT'S why they're all cheering…_

_**I think Itachi enjoyed the show. ;D**_

_Oh my. What a frivolous exposure of skin and undergarments._

_Since when are you all prim and proper?_

_**Yeah, seriously. Weren't you JUST telling me all the naughty things you'd do to Madara if he ever ended up in this forehead? Some of those plans even included me… *shudder***_

_EWWWWW_

_I SAID NOTHING OF THE SORT._

_**Whatever helps you sleep at night…**_

_This conversation is officially the worst thing I've ever been a part of._

I blushed as I pulled my sweatpants up frantically and leapt into the awaiting arms of Sasori and Deidara. Then they carried me off and into the limo.

-x-

**13. Do Karaoke in front of an audience filled with people you don't know!**

_**Wow. Awks, much? I sang "Never Say Never" in Ichiraku's Dance Club… and threw in some of Temari's dance moves… and apparently those dance moves made my sweatpants slide down… so the entire crowd got a thong flash. AWKWARD.**_

-x-

"Are you guys _sure _this is safe?" I asked with a horrified expression. Sasori, Deidara, and Itachi nodded simultaneously.

"But… what if my parachute doesn't open?"

"Then I will leap down after you and save you from certain death," Itachi said nonchalantly.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Okay…"

I took a deep breath and peered over the edge of the cliff to the trees below.

_Somehow, I doubt this is as safe as they say it is…_

_**Puh-leez, Sak! How bad could it be?**_

_Indeed. It's only cliff diving._

_ONLY?_

"If you don't go in the next two seconds, I'm pushing you off," Sasori growled.

"Okay, okay…"

Just as I was about to leap to my death, I froze up.

And Sasori kept his promise. His hand appeared on my back and successfully shoved me off the cliff.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_**Alright darling, that's enough screaming. You should open your parachute now.**_

_Good idea!_

I tugged the parachute cord and waited for the air resistance to jerk me backwards.

But the pull never came.

_HOLY MOTHER OF POOPING GOD._

_**THE PARACHUTE ISN'T OPENING.**_

_I'M GOING TO DIE! IN THE GIANT FOREHEAD OF A FREAK WITH PINK HAIR!_

_KAMI PLEASE SAVE ME!_

_**AND ME!**_

_IF I LIVE THROUGH THIS, I'LL NEVER EAT ANOTHER CHILD AGAIN!_

I shut my eyes and waited for the impact of the trees to send me to my untimely death. Suddenly, two strong arms wrapped around my body and hugged me close.

Then the pull I'd been expecting came. But just a little too late.

The jerk backwards happened about two seconds before the impact of the trees hit.

-x-

"It's my fault entirely. I was the one who suggested cliff diving," I heard Sasori wail.

"No. It's my fault. I should've jumped with her," Itachi said next.

"I should've found a safer cliff, un," Deidara muttered.

"Well, it doesn't matter whose fault it is. Right now all we can do is wait for her to wake up. It shouldn't be long; she had only a minor concussion. It could've been much worse if you hadn't gone after her, Itachi," a new voice interjected, "come with me. I can show you where the waiting room is."

The sound of feet on tiles slowly lessened. When they were gone, I cracked open an eye. A white room greeted me.

I let out a groan.

Then someone from behind a curtain beside me spoke.

"Nurse….. nurse…. Water…. Please…" it rasped. I winced. The voice sounded so pitiful and helpless. I'm sure no one but I, let alone a nurse, had heard its whispers.

I slowly raised myself from the hospital bed and tiptoed around the curtain. A handsome bald man was lying in his bed.

"Water…" he pleaded again, his eyes closed.

I spotted a glass of water on his bedside table and walked to it, tapping him as I handed the glass to him.

He blinked greatfully at me.

"Thank you so much," he said with a hoarse voice, "Kami must've sent me a guardian spirit to protect me."

I giggled.

"I'm not a spirit. I'm just a seventeen year old girl who jumped off a cliff," I replied with a smile. The man's thin lips curled into a smile.

"Then tell me, seventeen-year-old-girl-who-jumped-off-a-cliff, what is your name?"

"Sakura Haruno. How about you?"

"Hm, Sakura? That suits you. I am Kimmimaro."

"It's nice to meet you, Kimmy-kun!"

"Oh no, the pleasure is all mine."

"So why are you here, Kimmy-kun?"

Kimmimaro's eyes closed again.

"I was recently disgnosed with bone marrow cancer," he whispered.

My world froze.

_That… that's not… possible._

_**He's only liek, in his twenties!**_

_But don't cancer patients usually have treatment?_

"I haven't been reacting well to the chemo. The doctors are surprised every day when they find me alive in the mornings," Kimmimaro added, as if he had heard Pennywise.

_Kimmy-kun, noooo!_

_**But he looks so nice!**_

_This is so unfortunate…_

My eyes brimmed with tears.

Then I threw my arms around him in a hug. His thin body shivered under my touch.

"You don't deserve any of that," I murmured.

"Oh Sakura. You don't know anything about me. You do not know of my past. I am not a good person."

"Bullshit! No one, no matter how bad, deserves a premature death at such a young age!"

"Sakura?" I heard someone call.

"ITACHIIIII!" I wailed, watching the older Uchiha round the curtain and quirk an eyebrow at the sight of me.

Then he saw Kimmy-kun.

His concerned smirk dipped into a frown.

"Kimmimaro," he growled.

"Did you say _Kimmimaro_?" Sasori snarled as he appeared as well.

"Sakura, step away from that man," Sasori commanded calmly.

In return, I just hugged Kimmy-kun closer.

"No. What could Kimmy-kun have possibly done to deserve any of the hatred in your eyes? What act could have resulted in the gods cursing him with his sickness?" I cried.

"He murdered. He worked under an evil man and attempted to kill your friend, Rock Lee," Itachi said, his eyes blazing. I felt Kimmimaro shift uncomfortably under my grasp.

"Kimmy-kun, is this true?" I asked quietly, thinking of Lee, one of my closest man friends.

"That was before, Sakura! I was misguided by hate. But I'm a good person now!" he protested.

"Oh Kimmy-kun. How could you lie so easily?" I whispered, "just two minutes ago you said that you weren't a good person. What are you really?"  
>Kimmimaro stayed silent.<p>

Itachi slowly took my arms and unwrapped Kimmimaro from my embrace.

"C'mon, Sakura. Let's go home," he suggested gently.

-x-

**14. Do something spontaneous.**

_**Uh… I do believe cliff diving counts as a spontaneous action… Stupid parachute… Yeah, it didn't open so I ended up getting a minor concussion and staying in the hospital for an hour or so while they tested me and whatnot.**_

**15. Practice an act of random kindness.**

_**While in the hospital, the man in the bed next to mine was calling to a nurse for water. But no one but me heard so I went over and gave him a glass of water.**_

**16. Get to know a stranger.**

_**The guy for whom I got water, yeah, his name is Kimmimaro (Kimmy-kun to me!). :( He was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer, and he's not responding well to chemo. T-T**_

-x-

"Bye Deidara; bye Sasori!" I called to the pair as they hopped out of the Uchiha-owned limo.

"Bye Sakura! We can't wait until tomorrow (un)!" they replied with a wave.

"Okay Itachi. It's been a long enough day; let's go home," I said with a yawn.

"As you wish."

-x-

I felt Itachi's strong arms around me; one under the bend of my knees and one around my back. He picked me up easily and lifted my pretending-to-be-unconscious body.

He placed me on the wicker chair on my porch, and I heard him fumble through my purse and fish out my keys. He unlocked the front door and gathered me in my arms again.

"Sakura, I know you're awake," he muttered under his breath.

Not willing to give up my charade, I fluttered open my eyes and blinked slowly at Itachi.

"Mornin's Ita-kun," I yawned, rubbing my eyes with tired fists.

"You know as well as I do that it's only eleven in the evening," the Uchiha smirked. He continued to carry me until he located my bedroom and flicked on the bedside table lamp. I squinted at the sudden light change. Itachi laid me gently on my bed. Then he did something that I'd been dreaming of since what, grade school?

He gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead.

_OH EM EFF GEE._

_**Sakura. In two days we've not only hung out with the Akatsuki, we've strip teased, cliff dived, faced our fears, blown up a building, made our whole school shuffle, and sung Never Say Never in a dance club. Let's take all the confidence we've gained and use it right NOW!**_

_I agree! Follow your heart, Sakura!_

_I'll do it!_

Itachi drew back slowly after laying the kiss on my forehead. But I reached up and stopped him with a hand on his cheek.

Then I leaned in and pressed my lips to his.

Itachi responded immediately by kissing me back forcefully. He leaned down and pushed me down onto my back, successfully pinning me to the bed. I tangled my fingers in his hair as one of his hands rested on my hip while the other rested beside my head to keep him above me.

_Hot. Damn._

_**He works fast! :O**_

"Sakura…" he whispered.

"Hm?"

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he said against my lips. Then the hand on my hips began to slip my loose sweatpants down my thighs. When those troublesome pants were gone, Itachi lifted my tank top over my head. I giggled with a blush as I looked up at him in nothing more than my new Victoria's Secret lacy bra and thong.

"Your turn," I grinned, gripping the edge of his black shirt. Itachi just smirked as he let me remove that unneeded article of clothing. Then he shimmied out of his baggy jeans.

I nearly died from hotness overload at the sight of Itachi in only boxers. His chiseled chest rippled with muscles.

"Like what you see?" he smirked, nuzzling my neck and leaving a trail of kisses down my collarbone.

"Honestly, what I like is what I _don't _see. You wanna let it out to play?" I asked seductively, my eyes flickering to his boxers.

"Only if you give it a play area," Itachi retorted, glancing at my bra and thong.

"I stripped first last time," I pouted.

Itachi smirked once more then worked his boxers down his legs. I blushed slightly at the sight of his male anatomy. But Itachi gave me no time to be embarrassed. His hand snaked around me and unhooked my bra. As I pulled that off, Itachi hooked a finger around the edge of my thong and pulled it down.  
>For a moment, Itachi seemed at a loss. He stared at my naked figure for a second before diving back into my body. His hands gripped my form and his lips were –it seemed– <em>everywhere<em>. How he did that with only one pair of lips is beyond me.

His hand slithered up from my waist and to my breasts. He caressed my taught nipples before slowly running his tongue over my peaked globe, sending shivers down my spine.

"Itachi…" I moaned.

"Hn?"

"Itachi… I need you… inside me. Right now," I begged. Itachi merely smiled. Then the hand that had been fondling my breast snaked down and disappeared between my legs. I let a gasp escape when I felt his finger inside my walls.

"Itachi, no, I need _you_," I pleaded, wrapping my hands around his length. Itachi's finger slid out of my clit as he roughly kissed me.

But his kiss didn't distract me; my fingers stayed around his penis as they began moving back and forth. Itachi groaned.  
>Just as he seemed like he was going to come, I released his erection and brought Itachi close to me.<p>

"Itachi… I want you inside me right _now_. I want you to make me scream your name," I whispered, nipping his earlobe.

"Beg me," Itachi murmured, burying his head in my neck.

"Please…"

"More."

"I want you to please me. I need you to take care of my needs. I want you to pleasure me," I whimpered, biting my lip.

"That's more like it," Itachi growled. He grabbed his discarded jeans and pulled out a small package. I watched as he rolled a condom on and finally lowered himself between my legs and slid himself in. When he saw my gasp of pleasure, he began thrusting slowly. His pace was easy and lethargic. I moaned.

"Faster," I bit out.

"No. If this is going to be our first time together, I want to make you savor every moment. I want this to last as long as possible," Itachi smirked.

"Faster!" I begged again. Itachi's pace began to speed up little by little while I moved rhythmically to his thrusts.

"Itachi!" I screamed as we came together.

Itachi grunted as he released himself from my walls and lay beside me, our bodies both coated in sweat. I turned to my side and gathered the blanket around me, smiling when Itachi's arm slid around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

"Hey Sakura?"

"Yes?"

"I just realized something…"

"What is it?"

"I think we just did number 17…"

I blinked, staring into his charcoal eyes.

"It seems we did."

I snuggled deeper into his chest. He rested his chin on my head.

"Good night Itachi."

"Good night Sakura."

-x-

**17. Make love and/or have an outrageous makeout session**

_**Yeah… So Sakura Haruno might have possibly… perhaps… slept with Itachi Uchiha. :I BEE TEE DUBS, twas incredible. Just sayin. Sakura Haruno hopes there is more of that in the future… BUT DON'T TELL HIM THAT. Dx**_

-x-

**Uh… wow. Uh…. *cough***  
><strong>I wrote… a lemon.<strong>  
><strong>Whoa. My mind is officially poisoned.<strong>  
><strong>But see, my friend texted me in the middle of this chapter saying that in the Naruto manga, Kishimoto brought Itachi back to life and made him good so in celebration of my favorite character of all time, I became determined to finish this story asap! So you can all thank Infrasparker for that. :D Yayy<strong>  
><strong>OMFG. THIS STORY IS LIEK, HALFWAY DONE!<strong>  
><strong>HOORAYYYYYYY~<strong>  
><strong>Anyone who spotted the Princess Bride reference gets a virtual cookie! :D<strong>  
><strong>Oh yeah. It seems that OMFG and similar sayings (like GTFO, STFU, and the like) are my new favorite things. So be warned that they will appear quite often. :D<strong>

**UNTIL NEXT TIME, YOU SADISTIC GROUP OF ASSHATS.**

**Oh, sorry about that.**

**My cat walked across my keyboard.**

**...**

**Wanna hear a secret?**

**I don't have a cat.**

**:) Reviewwwwwwwwww as if your life depended on it!  
><strong>


	4. Bitches Love Smiley Faces

**I've decided that because I love you guys so much and you all make me feel so loved, I shall post this chapter early. It's only 4 thousand words so it's not very long. But I have off this week from school and I have nothing better to do except work on my stories. (For quick summaries, go check out mah profile!) And today I thought, HEY WHY NOT GIVE THEM A LITTLE PRESENT?**

**Cuz from the last chapter I worked my way up to...**

**Story Alert: 28  
>Favorite Story: 12<br>Reviews: 23  
>Favorite Author: 3<br>Author Alert: 2 (lol awks low number)**

**And YOU GUYS MADE ME FEEL SO WARM AND TINGLY INSIDE SO I WANTED TO THANK YOU IN FORM OF ANOTHER CHAPTER. Have no fear, though, there's still one more to come. And of course, the bonus chapter ;D **

_**Beware of OOC-NESS~**_

-x-

My eyes fluttered open to something I hadn't expected.

Itachi Uchiha. A naked one, at that.

_?_

_**Darling, don't you remember?**_

_Remember what._

_Oh my. Some horrible memory you have._

_Whatchu talkin' bout, Pennywise?_

_**Sakura, you are an idiot.**_

_WHAT DO YOU MEAN?_

_**Look down, would you?**_

I glanced down and almost let a gasp escape my lips.

I was _naked_.

_WHAT ALKJFOIEDV:L?_

_**Do you honestly not remember? YOU HAD SEX WITH ITACHI.**_

_Oh my Kami… I REMEMBER. HOT DAMN I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A REALLY REALLY AWESOME DREAM!_

"Good morning Sakura," Itachi's silky voice said, drawing my attention back to him.

"M-morning Itachi," I stuttered, blushing. Itachi smiled.

"You bring out a beast in the bedroom but in the morning you're shy? How odd," he laughed. He glanced down at our position which I hadn't noticed.

"Clingy, aren't you?" he teased. I blushed up a storm, realizing that our legs were tangled and Itachi had me in his chest, our equally naked bodies pressed together.

_**Seriously? Come ON, Sak. You'll never get over this if you don't face it head on! Just kiss him good morning!**_

I paused for a moment, considering Inner's screams. Then I inwardly shrugged and leaned closer to Itachi, stealing a kiss. Before he realized what I'd done, I had already left his embrace and wandered into the bathroom for a nice long shower.

When I had finished, Itachi was splayed on my bed in only boxers, flipping through the channels of my television.

"…"

"What?" Itachi asked lazily.

"Those aren't the same boxers from last night…"

"I know."

"…"

"I always bring an extra bag of clothes when I take out the limo. Never know!"

I tried to imagine Itachi going out to the limo at this hour wearing nothing. I laughed, thinking of the various women in my neighborhood.

"What's so funny?" Itachi wondered, suddenly appearing behind me. I jumped and shrieked.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" I whined, "Especially when I am wearing nothing but a towel!"

"But I think I like you best when you're wearing just that…" Itachi murmured, tugging the tucked in edge lightly. I slapped his hand away.

"No. Bad Itachi."

_DING DONG_

"Could you get that? I'm kinda lacking clothes."

Itachi nodded and pulled on his jeans before going off to let in the visitor.

"SA~KU~RA~" Madara sang, "I am taking the bullet for everyone and will offer to be the one to do number 17 with you!"

I quickly pulled some skinny jeans and a floaty cami on before he burst into the room.

"Uh… yeah… about that…" I blushed.

"OH SAKURA, HAVE NO FEAR. I PROMISE TO BE GENTLE!" Madara screamed over enthusiastically.

"No… um… ya see… I already did number seventeen…"

"…"

Itachi took Madara's silence as an opportunity to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me to him.

"ITACHI YOU BASTARD!" Madara cried, fleeing the room in tears.

"What a baby," Itachi scoffed. His eyes flickered to me.

"What's next on the list, by the way?"

"I need to do something illegal."

"…"

"What?"

"Uh, technically you're underage… so we broke the law by having sex."

"…"

"…"

"TO THE HOSPITAL!"

-x-

"Hello sir, my name is Dr. Ruri and I will be your doctor today," I said with a fake smile, scratching my brunette head lightly.

_DAMN WIG. IT ITCHES LIKE CRAZYYYYY_

_**That's what you get for impersonating a doctor…**_

_BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT. THE LAB COAT MAKES ME LOOK SO SEXY!_

"Oh, is Doctor Tsunade out today?" Orochimaru asked confusedly.

"Yes, unfortunately. She was called out for an emergency," I replied, washing my hands in the sink.

"Oh that's a pity. Well, I'm sure you will take care of me as best as possible!"

"Of course, sir. That is my number one policy. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem? What has troubled you enough to pay me a visit today?"

"Well, you see… my arms… they feel as if they're dying. And I keep vomiting up what looks like pieces of a sword. And snakes keep approaching me!" he cried. I stared at him, puzzled.

"If… your arms feel as if they're dying… then you cannot move them?" I clarified, glancing at his limp arms.

"That is correct."

"Then… how did you get here?"

"I always have my manbitch handy," Orochimaru guaranteed.

Then from the darkest corner of the small room, a creeper emerged. His hair was poufy and blue and his pedo-glasses were perched dangerously low on his nose. He pushed them up in an anime fashion.

I shuddered, remembering his name. Kabuto.

"That's kinda scary…" I muttered.

"Did you say something, Dr. Ruri?" Orochimaru asked with concern.

"Oh no no no. I was just talking to myself," I reassured.

"Ya know, Dr. Ruri, there's something about you that seems awfully familiar…" Orochimaru stared into my green eyes.

"I don't see how that's possible, I mean, this is the first time we've met!" I said nervously.

"Do you know a Sakura Haruno? Her eyes are almost identical to yours," he continued suspiciously.

"Sakura Haruno? That sounds like a beautiful name! Probably to match a beautiful girl!" I ranted subconsciously.

"Come to think of it… your voice sounds very similar to hers as well…"

"Mr. Orochimaru, I'm afraid if you continue to make accusations of me, I cannot help you," I retorted hotly. The pedo-teacher blanched.

"I'm sorry. The likeness of you two is just remarkable! I do apologize for being so rude," he responded quickly.

"It is fine. Now if you'll just excuse me for a moment, I'd like to check with my colleagues about your symptoms."

"That's fine. I will wait here."

I grabbed my clipboard (the one I'd scribbled all over to make Orobitch think I was writing down his symptoms) and slipped out of the room. Itachi was waiting there.

"He's such a creep!" I whispered.

"Well, I think it was worth it, seeing as that lab coat makes you look extremely sexy," he smirked, taking my hand. Then we ran down the halls of the Konoha hospital and to the parked limo on the ground floor.

-x-

**18. DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL.**

_**I love lab coats! They make me look oh so sexayyyyy. But anyway, I pretended to be a doctor and Orochimaru came in, being all creeper-like and stuffs. He said his arms were dying and that he always kept a manbitch handy. Then another creeper liek, emerged from the shadows and scared the crap outta me! But that's beside the point. It's illegal to impersonate a doctor; I did that; go fuck yourself. :D Have a nice day~**_

-x-

"Remind me again why we're in the scariest part of town?" I said nervously, glancing out the limo window.

"Because the 'scariest part of town' is home to the Akatsuki's official hangout," Itachi replied simply, continuing to drive deeper and deeper into the home of gangs bangs and muggings and other horrific things like that.

"And why are we going to the Akatsuki hangout if all I need to do is drive super fast?"

"Because the members of Akatsuki are rich and therefore have incredible cars that will mind-fuck you."

"Oh."

-x-

"HOT DAMN YOU WERE RIGHT! I'M GETTING MIND-FUCKED RIGHT NOW."

"Told you."

I stared at the underground garage beneath the what-looked-like-a biker bar. But in actuality, it was a pimped out night club for the members of Akatsuki to chill and lounge around in.

The bouncer in the front had a unibrow and bushy mustache. He stared at me for a moment, then glanced at Itachi, then stared at me some more before breaking into a grin.

"HELLO THERE," he had bellowed to me, "WELCOME TO THE AKATSUKI HANGOUT. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS IN THE SUGGESTION BOX ON THE BAR BY FILLING OUT A COMMENT CARD. AND THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF THE AKATSUKI HANGOUT IS, OF COURSE, TO HAVE FUN!" And he just would NOT STOP SMILING.

So I eventually started smiling too…

What can I say?

Jacque's smiles are contagious.

But anyway, back to the cars.

"Wait," I shoved a hand in Itachi's face, "are you saying that I can pick _any_ car I want and drive it at X miles per hour and possibly crash it?"

"Sure."

"Now we're talking!"

I ran around in circles throughout the garage, peering into the windows of various cars.

"I bet I can guess whose cars these are," I boasted.

"Go for it."

"The orange Lamborghini is Pein's, the indigo 650i BMW with cranes on the sides belongs to Konan, the super sexy Harley Davidson is Deidei's, the…" I trailed off.

Then I gasped.

"WHO OWNS THE GOLD PANAMERA PORSCHE COVERED IN VARIOUS CURRENCIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD?" I screamed.

"Ah. Good eye. That belongs to Kakuzu. He is the Akatsuki money handler. He also has an incredible taste in cars. You should have seen him five years ago. He bought an original Delorean. But he sold it for an outstanding price after fixing it up a bit."

"A… Delorean? HE MADE IT WORK?"

"Yeah."

"DAMN, THOSE THINGS ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR HORRIBLE QUALITY. JOHNNY CARSON'S NEWLY BOUGHT DELOREAN BROKE DOWN RIGHT AFTER HE DROVE OUT OF THE CAR DEALERSHIP."

"So I've heard."

"Sakura wanna drive Panamera please!"

"Go find Kakuzu's key rack in the back."

I raced to the back of the garage and scanned the several key hooks until I saw "Kakuzu" etched above a hook _full_ of keys. I grabbed the one that said "Moneymobile" seeing as no other car present could be properly named the Moneymobile as the Panamera was.

"Let's go for a drive," I grinned, unlocking the beautiful car.

-x-

_LAKSHGO;WNREAI4209WAEGIPO2340GVA THIS FEELS SO FLIPPING GOOD._

_Sweet baby Jesussssss…_

_**Guys. That's what she said.**_

_FORGET THE PERVINESS! RELISH IN THE SPEED OF 87 MILES PER HOUR!_

"Uh… Sakura?"

"WHAT?"

"Check your rearview mirror," Itachi said simply. I glanced at the mirror and groaned. Familiar blue and red lights flashed from behind the beautiful car I drove in.

As I pulled over to the shoulder of the parkway, I grunted an annoyed, "Shitsicles."

I watched the cop make his way to my window and gesture for me to roll it down. When I did so, the officer, who looked about 29 and very cute, frowned.

"Ma'am, do you have any idea how fast you were just going?" he asked calmly, taking the good cop route.

"Oh my lucky stars, I was so in the moment I didn't even realize I was DTF!" I exclaimed, putting on a fake drawl to my words.

The officer's eyes bugged out. Itachi snorted.

"Ma'am," the cop coughed out, "are you even _legal_?"

I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Itachi glare at the officer as I retrieved my driver's license from my infamous purse.

"Well, I'm not, but he sure is!" I grinned, pointing at Itachi.

If Itachi and the officer had been drinking water, they would've done a spit take. Which they kinda did, but they just lacked the actual water.

The officer closed his eyes for a moment before looking tiredly back at me.

"Look. I'll let you off with a warning. It's been a long day. Just don't do it again," he said, shaking his head at me. Then he walked back to his car.

"Sakura, do you even _know_ what DTF means?"

"Of course I do! It means 'Driving Too Fast'!"

Itachi slapped his palm to his forehead.

-x-

**19. Drive fast… REALLY fast.**

_**I think that 87mph counts as 'really' fast. Just sayin.**_

_**Oh yeah, and I told a police officer that I was DTF. Itachi acted as if Driving Too Fast **_**wasn't **_**what DTF stands for. Silly Itachi.**_

-x-

_**Cherry597 **__has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**SexayIn0**__ has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**WhiteEyes**__ has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**FannyGurl**__ has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**PandaHead**__ has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**H0TSTUFF **__has entered chatroom._

_**Cherry597**__: OMFG guys let's meet up at my place in an hour!  
><em>_**H0TSTUFF**__: Bitch, why should I?  
><em>_**Cherry597**__: Because, you Sasuke-loving ho, I'm done with numbers 1-19! I need to spend some "quality time" with my besties.  
><em>_**SaxayIn0**__: You lie! That's not possible! You couldn't have done it all in three days. YOU'RE LYINGGGGG.  
><em>_**Cherry597**__: Bitch, please. I'm just that cool. Didn't you suspect something when I broke into the PA office and blasted "Party Rock Anthem" and made everyone shuffle?  
><em>_**WhiteEyes**__: Sakura-chan, you said that you and the Akatsuki had taken over the PA room… what was that about? Aren't they a dangerous gang?  
><em>_**FannyGurl**__: Hinata, be a little perverted for once. It's obvious that our dear Sakura here is fucking them all.  
><em>_**Cherry597**__: AM NOT!  
><em>_**PandaHead**__: Uh huh. Sure.  
><em>_**Cherry597**__: I'm not fucking them ALL. Maybe… just…one…  
><em>_**SexayIn0**__: OMG SAK, YOU DIDN'T.  
><em>_**Cherry597**__: I'm not saying ANYTHING unless you all come to my house in an hour.  
><em>_**SexayIn0**__: Ho. Say the word and I'll be there in a heartbeat. This is some juicy stuff. I wanna know what happened for everything else naughty on that list… ;D_

_**Cherry597 **__has left chatroom._

_**PandaHead**__: Guys… I think I'm going to have to ask out Neji… FML.  
><em>_**WhiteEyes**__: That means… I'll have to ask out Naruto-kun! I don't think I can…. Dx_

_**SexayIn0**__ has left chatroom.  
><em>_**WhiteEyes**__ has left chatroom.  
><em>_**FannyGurl**__ has left chatroom.  
><em>_**H0TSTUFF**__ has left chatroom.  
><em>_**PandaHead**__ has left chatroom._

-x-

"BITCH, OPEN UP THIS DOOR. RIGHT NOW. AND TELL US WHO YOU ARE FUCKING," I heard Ino scream as she banged on my front door.

I ran to said door and swung it open to invite my besties inside. They rushed in, somehow closing the door in the process, and occupied every available seat in my living room.

"Spill!" Karin shrieked gleefully.

"Well, it all started when I needed a car with a sunroof…" I began, handing out the copies of the filled out list.

-x-

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So…"

"…"

"Why aren't we with Sakura-chan?" Deidara burst out. Itachi twitched as he turned the page of his magazine.

"Because she had to spend some quality time with her friends," he replied simply, turning another page.

"BUT I'M HER FRIEND!"

"I'm talking about her friends who like men–" Itachi paused, staring at Deidara.

"Her friends who like _what_?" Deidara asked, his voice dripping with venom.

"Her friends who have periods."

"Oh."

"…"

"Mad awks, much…"

-x-

"OH MAI GAWD, YOU SLUT!" Karin screamed.

"DON'T JUDGE ME," I yelled back.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'DON'T JUDGE ME' YOU FUCKED ITACHI ON A BED THAT IS NOT EVEN TWENTY FEET AWAY FROM WHERE I AM SITTING. AND FROM WHAT YOU SAY, YOU DID SOME PRETTY KINKY STUFF IN THAT BED!" Karin wailed.

"WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC? YOU LOVE SASUKE-KUN ANYWAY."

"YEAH BUT ITACHI IS SO FUCKING HOT."

"…"

"…"

"I know, bitch."

"Sakura! I can't believe you befriended that bastard who tried to kill Lee!" Tenten bawled.

"How could I not? He has _bone marrow cancer_. I'm no heartless bitch like _some of us_," I retorted, glancing at Ino.

"Whatchu lookin' at, ho?" Ino snarled, shielding her choco-pie.

"Nothing…"

"Sakura-san, I hope you realize that by talking with us, you just completed the list," Hinata piped up.

I paused, staring at the shy girl.

"Oh my Kami, you're right."

-x-

**20. Spend some quality time with your best friends**

**_Must I really write about this? I invited the girls I consider best friends over to my house and told them ALLLLLLLL about what I did the past three days. :) And NAO I AM DONE. PRAISE KAMI._**

"Conference call time!" I sang, dialing several different numbers into my daddy's old work phone. Ino, Temari, Tenten, Hinata, and Karin crowded around me quietly.

"WHO DA FUCK IS THIS."

"Oh hiiii Hidan!" I grinned.

"Oh. It's YOU. The bitch I buried yesterday."

"Yah. So imma put everyone in Akatsuki that I met on conference call so hold on, kay?"

"Whatever."

"SAKURA-CHAN, UN!" a new voice screamed.

"OMFG HI DEIDARA!"

"Sakura. Do not yell so loudly," Pein grumbled.

"Why not, Pein? You too tired from fucking Konan all day long?"

"WE DID NO SUCH THING!"

"Sure, Konan. I believe that." I rolled my eyes.

I signaled to my friends with a three sign, indicating we had to wait for three more people before we could really begin.

"Sakura? Do you have any Red Bull? I've been having this odd craving ever since we went camping…"

"Sure, Sasori! We can go buy some later!"

"Great. I heard that Red Bull gives you wings!"

"Dumbass," Hidan grunted, "that's just a saying."

"SAKURA HOW COULD YOU?"

"Madara! There you are! I was starting to wonder whether you'd answer or not…"

"I THOUGHT ABOUT LETTING YOU GO TO VOICEMAIL, AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ITACHI!"

"What Sakura and I did is none of your business, Madara," I heard Itachi interject smoothly. I blushed slightly.

"Okay. Well, now that we're all here, I'd like to say a little something."

"Go ahead," Pein said calmly.

"So you all know that I had to do that crazy list in order to escape my friends wraths and stuff? All in three days?"

"As I recall, today is the third day," Sasori pointed out.

"Yes it is. So I wanted to call all of you up and say thanks a bunch for helping me out. I just finished the twenty tasks and am free from my bitchy friends [insert glare from said friends, disregarding Hinata, because I don't think she can glare for her life]. I couldn't have done it without you guys… so thank you."

"AW SAKURA-CHAN YOU ARE SO CUTE! UN!"

"You're welcome," Pein said softly.

The rest of Akatsuki followed with their "you're welcome" s soon after. Except Itachi.

"It was my pleasure. I would do it again any time, any day," he purred at last.

"ITACHI, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Madara screamed mournfully.

"Oh and by the way, I have a couple bonus tasks that maybe we can do together sometime," I added nervously, because maybe they secretly hated me and only did all that stuff because Itachi bribed them.

"Sakura, un, I think I speak for everyone when I say 'We'd love to'," Deidara said warmly.

-x-

_**Whew! Chapter 4 (I think?) is finally done! :D And you know what that means…**_

_**ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO!**_

_**Well, that's assuming you guys don't want to read the bonus chapter that includes those bonus tasks (cameos from Kisame, Kimmy-kun, and Tobi!)….**_

_**Whatevs. We shall see. :)**_

_**Reviewwww~**_

_**/**_

_**\**_

_**/**_

_**\**_

_**V**_


	5. Red Robin, YUMMMM

_**OMFG! Last chappie!**_

_**I haven't finished a multi-chapter story this fast ever before!**_

_**I FEEL SUPAH. :D**_

_**Whoop whoop!**_

_**(Lol I feel like it wasn't the greatest idea to update on a Wednesday as a present, because almost no one read it when I checked out the traffic stats. :P So if you haven't read the previous chapter, GO DO IT NOOWWWWW)  
><strong>_

-x-

_**CloudZRule**__ has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**KingOfRamen9001 **__has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**UchihaS**__ has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**N-Man53828 **__has entered chatroom.  
><em>_**BarkBarkMeow**__ has entered chatroom._

_**KingOfRamen9001**__: Neji, you have the lamest username evah. LAWLZ.  
><em>_**N-Man53828**__: Shut up. I made it when I was in third grade and thought I was a superhero named N-Man.  
><em>_**BarkBarkMeow**__: You were such an adorable third grader… what happened?  
><em>_**UchihaS**__: As much as I enjoy watching the Hyuuga squirm, this isn't why I asked you all to log in.  
><em>_**CloudZRule**__: Toublesome… why are we here then?  
><em>_**UchihaS**__: Were you all invited to Ichiraku's today for lunch?  
><em>_**KingOfRamen9001**__: YES! RAMENNNNNNNNNNNNN.  
><em>_**UchihaS**__:… Dobe.  
><em>_**BarkBarkMeow**__: Yeah, I texted Shika and Neji about it too… we're all going.  
><em>_**N-Man53828**__: It's suspicious… Sakura sounded… odd when she sent that text…  
><em>_**CloudZRule**__: I suppose we'll have to wait and see… Troublesome women…_

_**UchihaS**__ has closed chatroom._

-x-

"OKAY GIRLIES, LET'S GET PRETTIFIED," I screamed, dragging the reluctant girls I consider my friends around the mall.

"Wait… so what are we doing again?"

"We're all going to hide in a giant cake and pop out in skimpy outfits. Then each of us will strip tease our respectable guy and ask him out. Itachi will be there and I'll set an example for all y'all because you probably need me and my various experience!" I explained. Ino rolled her eyes.

"Puh-leez, bitch. I have more experience than you by a billion and four. Just because you strip teased _once_ does not make you an expert!"

"I beg to differ. She really had me going for a while," Deidara cut in.

"Thank you, Deidei."

"Anyway," I went on, "I have two bisexual men here who were willing to shop with us and find great outfits for us. And Itachi went through all that trouble to rent out Ichiraku's just for us. Don't put all that to waste!"

"I never said it was a waste! I was simply correcting you!" Ino protested grumpily.

"Whatevs."

"SAKURA!"

"Yeah?"

"THE GRAND OPENING OF AMI CLUBWEAR IS TODAY!"

"NO FUCKING WAY."

"YES WAY.

"SASORI. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? LEAD THE WAY!"

-x-

"What a drag…"

"Why did I agree to come in whatever Sakura told me to come in?" Sasuke Uchiha groaned.

"At least you thought of wearing something over it, unlike the supposed-to-be prodigy over there," Kiba grinned, jerking a thumb to Neji who was being mobbed by rabid fangirls.

Sasuke shuddered and closed his jacket tighter around his torso.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE, ANIKI?" Sasuke asked for the fifth time.

"I was invited."

"Hn."

"Shut up and go into the damn ramen bar."

"Hn."

-x-

"Sakura, move your arm!"

"I can't! Temari's big boobs are in the way!"

"Well SORRY, Ms. Little-C-Cup!"

"Oh I apologize, I didn't realize it was legal for someone to have a size G bra size!"

"SHUT UP. MY MOM WAS BIG BREASTED."

"WHAT, WAS YOUR MOM TSUNADE OR SOMETHING? BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I SAW A RACK THAT BIG, THE OWNER WAS DRUNK."

"A-ano, we shouldn't fight!"

"BE QUIET HINATA, YOU'RE JUST SHY BECAUSE YOU HAVE BIG BOOBS AND EVERY GUY STARES AT THEM WHEN WE WALK BY."

"…"

"Oh my Kami. I'm so sorry, Hinata."

"BITCH YOU TAKE IT BACK. YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD AND IMMA SMACK YOU UPSIDE DOWN AND LET OROCHIMARU FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS WITH A RAKE."

"…"

"…"

"Holy shit, Hinata."

-x-

"Delivery for the random men in Ichiraku's wearing no shirts?" I heard Pein from behind his disguise.

"Uh… we're random guys in Ichiraku's wearing no shirts," Naruto said.

"Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Here's this huge-ass cake."

"WHAT IS THIS. CAKE INSTEAD OF RAMEN? BLASPHEMY!" Naruto screamed.

"Oh yeah. And I'm supposed to press play. I almost forgot," Pein grumbled. I heard him fumble around the fake cake and click the play button.

"I'm Sexy and I Know It" suddenly blasted from the portable docking station.

"NOW NOW NOW!" I stage-whispered. The girls in the huge fake-cake squirmed for a moment before each saying "Ready!"

"1… 2… 3!" When I yelled "3," we all punched through the thin cardboard above us and sprang out of the cake in our skimpy outfits.

I spotted Itachi and wiggled my way over to him as my friends did the same for their crushes.

I could not have been prouder when I saw my girls grinding dangerously close to their male love interest's groins.

Then the song ended and we all stopped dancing awkwardly.

"…"

"Naruto-kun, would you go out with me?" Hinata blurted out. Everyone gasped.

"Hinata, I would love to!" Naruto grinned, and pulled her to his shirtless chest.

The others followed soon after.

"Hey Neji… if you're not busy tomorrow… Would you like to uh… go out somewhere?"

"Shikamaru, how would you like to meet up at the top of the hill tomorrow after school and watch clouds?"

"Kiba? I won two tickets to a water park for Saturday. Do you want to go with me?"

"Sasuke, I'm going to the Linkin Park concert tomorrow night. I need a date. How about it?"

And when everyone was done and happy, they looked at Itachi and me (in my skimpy police officer outfit) expectantly.

_What do they want?_

_**They prolly wanna love us forever because we were the ones to get them all together.**_

_Or perhaps they expect you and Itachi to perform some show of love._

_Pssht. Yeah right._

"What are you guys staring at?" I snapped. Ino smiled.

"We all did what we had to. I think you and Itachi should celebrate in a way only couples can do," she explained, wiggling her eyebrows.

"We did that last night though. And I'm pretty sure Sakura hasn't gained all of the needed energy for it again…" Itachi said easily.

"…"

"…"

"…!"

"ITACHI! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU TOLD MADARA!" I wailed, burying my head in his shirtless chest out of embarrassment.

"EW, I do NOT need to know what my best friend and brother do at night," Sasuke grunted.

"My apologies, little brother."

"Shut it, Aniki."

-x-

"Hey, nii-san, come look at this!" a six-year-old boy called to his older sister. The girl walked to her brother and peered over his shoulder.

"What did you find, Youiji?"

"I don't know!" Youiji squealed, holding the paper up higher.

"It has okaa-san's name on it. Maybe she knows!" the twelve-year-old girl said, taking the paper and rushing out of the study.

"Okaa-san, okaa-san!" they yelled as they ran throughout the house.

"I'm in the living room!" their mother called back. The two ran into the living room and grinned at the sight of their mother flipping through soaps on television and their father lounging in his favorite armchair, reading the daily newspaper.

"Okaa-san, Youiji found this paper and it has your name on it! What is it?" Hikari blubbered, fumbling to give her mother the paper. Her mother took and scanned it for a moment. Then she burst into a fit of school-girlish giggles.

"Oh, Itachi, look at what they found!" Sakura Uchiha laughed, passing her husband the document. Itachi Uchiha paused, reading the scrawled handwriting. Itachi smirked.

"I remember this," he said with a slight chuckle.

"I think we should frame it," Sakura smiled, reading the paper with more giggles.

"Okaa-san, what is it?" Hikari pressed. Sakura grinned.

"Why don't you sit down and I'll explain to you what my friends did to me that changed my life." She pat the seat on the couch next to her and the two children hopped on eagerly.

"It all started when my friends decided they ought to do something because I had lost my pep somewhat. So they made me a list of tasks…"

-x-

_**OMFG.**_

_**OMFGGGGGG.**_

_**It's done. :D I finished a whole story! ^3^**_

_**I'm uber proud~ mainly because I didn't think I'd finish this everrrrrrrr seeing as I was super busy with volleyball and marching band. However… volleyball season for me ended just recently and I have only a couple more football games and a competition left for marching band then it's over (I no longer have a reason to live! Dx).**_

_**So yeah, I love you for reading but I'll love you even more if you review.**_

_**Bye darlings~ Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.**_

_**OH YEAH and if you want the bonus chapter, make sure to tell me in a review, otherwise I won't know that you want it! D:  
><strong>_


	6. Pedos Should Not Adopt Robots FYI

_**Hi dere, guys~**_

_**You excited for this chapter? Where the other members of Akatsuki will most likely make a cameo? :D**_

_**I AM SO EXCITED. I just had a "cuteness" marathon with my mom where we watching "Too Cute!" and "America's Cutest Dog" on Animal Planet. :) I could not stop aww-ing. ^3^  
><strong>_

_**PS: Seeing as there are only three bonus tasks, this won't be as long as the other chapters… but whatever! I SHALL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR TIME! :DDDDDDD**_

_**Because of this fanfic, I have grown to love Pennywise. He now seems a lot less scary in the movies... xD I hope this happened with you too~! ^^  
><strong>_

-x-

"Senior year is going to rock!" I screamed into my hot pink phone.

"Fuck yeah it is!" Temari screamed back.

"…" Everyone in the conference call was quiet for a moment.

"Temari," Ino said slowly.

"Lolwut?"

"YOU'RE IN COLLEGE. YOU ARE A SOPHOMORE AT SUNAKAGURE UNIVERSITY. YOU ARE NOT, FOR THE LAST TIME, A SENIOR WITH US," I yelled.

"You. Bitch. Be quiet."

"DON'T MAKE ME GO ALL HINATA ON YO ASS."

"COME AT ME BRO."

"JUST GO SNOG SHIKAMARU WHY DON'T YOU."

"OH GO SUCK ITACHI'S DICK."

"…"

"…"

"I'M ON MY PERIOD, HO. DO NOT REMIND ME OF WHAT I CANNOT DO SEEING AS THAT WILL LEAD TO ANOTHER THING WHICH WILL RESULT IN ME BEING PREGNANT."

"Sakura?" a new voice interjected.

I whipped around and saw a smirking Itachi Uchiha standing in the doorway of my kitchen.

"Oh… Hi Itachi…." I said nervously.

"What was that you were just talking about?" he asked smoothly. I heard the girls on my phone snicker.

"I was… saying… how… I should…" I trailed off, not really wanting to finish that sentence with the truth.

_**HOW YOU SHOULD TOTES MEET UP WITH THE AKATSUKI!**_

_Agreed. Do you not remember that there were extra tasks on that list of yours?_

… _Hm. Good point._

_**And btw, when was the last time we saw the Akatsuki, disregarding Itachi?**_

… _Last year…_

_**WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR THAT. THINK UP A BIT, LOVE.**_

_I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM SINCE I FINISHED THOSE TASKS LAST YEAR, OKAY?_

_**That's more like it.**_

"I was just saying how I should totally do those extra tasks from the list last year! And how I should invite all the Akatsuki over for some bonding time!"

"YOU WHAT?" the girls shrieked. Itachi just cocked his head to the side confusedly.

-x-

"Sakura, are you sure you want to do this?" Itachi asked for the seventh time.

"Of course, Ita-kun! How bad could the other members of Akatsuki be, I mean, I put up with Hidan and Madara for Kami's sake."

Itachi cleared his throat awkwardly.

"You'd be surprised," he mumbled.

"And speaking of the Akatsuki, don't you all work in pairs? So who's your partner?" I pressed, watching the familiar Akatsuki hangout come into view.

"You'll meet him soon enough."

"Oh, I can't wait!" I squealed, practically jumping out of Itachi's car.

-x-

"Hi there Pinky."

"…"

"Can I get a hug?"

"OH HI THERE DEIDARA!" I screamed, turning away from the strange blue man to glomp Deidara.

"Sakura-chan, un!" he yelled, returning my hug.

"Itachi, tell your girlfriend to give your partner a hug. He feels unloved," blue man pouted.

"No."

"Hey Itachi, do you remember that one time when we went drinking at that bar…"

"Sakura, would you kindly give my partner a hug?"

"…"

"Sakura…"

"Fine." I shoved Deidara off and trudged over to the blue creeper.

"Let's try that again, shall we? Hi there, Pinky," blue man grinned, revealing a mouth filled with sharky teeth.

"Hi there blue man," I grunted.

"Can I get a hug?"

I inwardly groaned as the extremely tall Akatsuki member pulled me into a giant bear hug.

"My name's Kisame," he said politely.

"Sakura," I muttered in response.

"Oh my, is it me or is there a copious amount of upsexy in our lounge?" Kisame asked himself.

"… what's upsexy?" Kisame grinned once more.

"Oh, nothing much."

It took me a moment to get it. And when I did, Itachi had to hold my arms to restrain me.

"Let me at him! I'll rip out his trachea! I'll skin him and roast him then I'll feed him to the dogs as shark fin soup!" I yowled.

"Come along Sakura, we must do those extra tasks," Itachi suggested gently.

"Fine."

-x-

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Oh Pinky, I don't kid when it comes to water."

The entire Akatsuki and I were standing at the edge of an Olympic sized pool, all of us in our bathing suits. And, wouldn't you know it; the entire facility belonged to one overgrown shark.

Turns out, Kisame had been training for the Olympics for years now, and his parents, for his birthday, had bought him a _swimming facility._ Seriously, what kind of parents did that? So he offered his facility to my usage to complete number twenty-one.

Now, if you remember correctly, the task was not to get wet/go swimming. The task was to go swimming in a _cold_ pool/lake/whatever. So Kisame turned off the water heater about an hour ago when we were eating lunch, and now if you were to put your finger into the water to test it out, your finger would come out as a block of ice.

Fun fun.

"LADIES FIRST!" Kisame boomed, and then he shoved me into the freezing cold water.

I let out a shriek before landing in the water. When I came to the surface, everyone was cracking up. Even Itachi was smirking.

"THAT'S IT!" I screamed angrily, pulling myself out of the water. Then I wrapped my arms around a laughing Kisame and successfully pulled him into the pool with me. And just before I landed in the water, I saw Pein push Konan into the pool.

When I surfaced again, I grinned at the sight of Deidara pushing Sasori in, Hidan shoving some tan guy covered in stitches, and Madara belly flopping with a _SMACK_.

Soon everyone was laughing and splashing around in the pool.

Then the war began.

It started when Kisame leapt out of the water and placed his hands on my head then dunking my entire body under water.

"Bitch, it's on!" I sputtered when he let me breathe air again. Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, and Madara charged the other five members of Akatsuki with full force.

Me?

I ran off to find some kind of weapons. I quickly searched every room I passed before coming across a door that read "Random Shit That We Should Probably Throw Out Otherwise Some Weirdo Is Gonna Take All The Water Guns In Here And Use Them For Evil."

_Fuck yeah, we're going to use them for evil!_

_**You tell em, honey!**_

I burst into the room and stared in awe of the dozens of nerf water guns hanging upon the walls. I grabbed as many as possible and ran back to the pool, only stopping by a private, smaller pool along the way to fill up every water gun.

"TEAM SAKURA! USE THE SECRET WEAPONS!" I screeched, stopping the dunking battle. I threw water guns to Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, and Madara and pumped mine while cackling evilly.

"YOU STUPID OVERGROWN PIECE OF TUNA, FEEL MY WRATH!" I yelled, going after Kisame with full force.

Only when he fell did I stop my attacks.

It was finally official.

I had successfully taken down the tallest and probably strongest member of Akatsuki using only a nerf water gun.

My life is complete.

Well, almost complete. I still have two more things to do on that list.

-x-

**21. Swim in a cold pool, beach, or river**

_**I went swimming in a freezing cold Olympic sized pool with the Akatsuki and it turned into war… Needless to say, I defeated a big blue shark man using a nerf water gun. I feel victorious.**_

-x-

"Ya know, I should be happy that I can't do number twenty-two," I sighed happily, snuggling closer to Itachi.

"True, true," he murmured.

"I have an idea!" I yelled, bolting upward.

"Hm?"

"Let's go visit Kimmy-kun!"

Itachi's once serene face morphed into an angry face.

"Sakura, what did I tell you about Kimmimaro?" he hissed. I glared at him.

"You told me he was a bad person," I retorted.

"Good girl." Itachi began to relax again.

"BUT THAT'S NO REASON FOR HIM TO NOT GET VISITORS WHEN HE'S DEATHLY ILL!" I screamed.

-x

"Hi, can I have a visitor pass to go see Kimmimaro in room 1430A?" I asked the receptionist politely.

"You still remember his room number? After a year?" Itachi asked with a slight smile.

"Well of course! I mean, it was my room too after my cliff diving mishap!"

The receptionist paused from her computer and glanced at me.

"Are you Sakura Haruno?" she asked, her once cheery voice trembling a little. I nodded slowly, confused.

"You can go up," she said, her eyes clouded with sadness. I stared at her for a moment before Itachi led me toward the elevator; the receptionists' obvious worry had no effect on his stoic-nature.

-x-

I gasped.

"Where's… Kimmy-kun?" I whispered, covering my mouth to keep from screaming. The bed that had once been Kimmimaro's was stripped bare. All that was left was a card on the perfect bedsheets. The card had a single name on the envelope: Sakura.

My hand trembled as it opened the letter inside the envelope.

_Dear Sakura,_

_It's me, Kimmimaro. Or as you like to call me, "Kimmy-kun."_

_If you've found this, then Itachi knows you well. Confused by that statement? Let me explain._

_After you visited me that fateful day, I vowed to change. I no longer wanted to be a bad person; I wanted to be someone whom you could be proud to call a "friend." I'll admit, I don't have many of those. So I called Itachi and asked him to come visit. He did and I told him of my goals to be a good person. He decided to help; probably because he knew that if you had been in on this, you'd make him do it._

_Itachi came to visit me every Thursday morning and told me about you. He's been doing it every Thursday for a year. When I had treatments on Thursdays, he would wait until I was finished and come into my room to talk to me. He's a great man; you're a lucky girl._

_One Thursday I asked Itachi what I could do to make you happier. He told me he didn't know. Then remembering what he had once told me about a "list" you'd had to complete, which had led you to me, I asked Itachi if you needed help finishing it. He told me that you'd finished it already. But then he mentioned "bonus" tasks. I asked to see them. I read the three tasks and made a vow._

_When you would do those bonus tasks, I would give up my battle against cancer. For you. Because I'd heard about the happiness you'd experienced when you finished the last task on that list. I wanted you to be that happy again. So I told Itachi that when you decided to complete the last three tasks, he had to call me. Itachi agreed, mainly because he knew you so well to know that you would want to visit me on the day you do the bonus tasks._

_This morning Itachi called me._

_The nurse is waiting for me to finish this letter. When I'm done, she'll turn off my life support._

_And you'll be able to complete number twenty-two._

_I've asked Itachi to arrange a nice funeral for me; ask him about where and when it will be._

_Don't cry, Sakura._

_Be happy, because I am. I'm happy to have met a beautiful young girl like you. And I'll watch you and be your guardian angel like you were mine on that fateful day._

_Until we meet again,_

_Kimmimaro_

My hands shook as they held the letter that I'd reread three times already.

"Kimmy-kun," I whispered, watching the letter blur as tears fell on it.

"Sakura…" Itachi began, putting a hand on my shoulder. I spun around and buried myself into his shirt, soaking it with my tears.

"Sakura, Kimmimaro will be buried in two hours. You should be ready in an hour and a half," he murmured into my hair, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"If you need to go and buy something to wear…" Itachi started. I cut him off with the loud sound of me sniffing my crying boogers back into my nose.

"I already know what I'm going to wear," I told him, glancing up at him briefly.

-x-

"Today we put to rest a young man," the priest said, his voice breaking slightly. I wiped a stray tear with my black glove.

Itachi put his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him.

We were the only ones who had attended Kimmimaro's funeral. Itachi had dressed in a plain black suit with a black tie. I, on the other hand, was anything but plain.

Two years ago when my parents had died in a car accident, I'd worn this same outfit to their funerals. I was wearing a silk strapless dress that flared at the waist and brushed past my low heels. A lace top was sewed onto the bodice of the dress, instantly making it a quarter-arms-length long dress. On my head was a black hat with a silhouette of lace draping over my face. And to finish it off, I had black, silken wrist gloves.

"Kami, we send his soul to you and hope you accept him into your afterlife. We will let those who knew him speak to you words of who Kimmimaro was," the priest continued. Itachi stepped up to face the priest and I. He cleared his throat quietly.

"Kimmimaro was once a bad man. He was only 17 when a man named Orochimaru took him and used Kimmimaro's fighting skills to carry out 'missions' for him," Itachi said clearly, "For five years, Kimmimaro did as Orochimaru told him, which included the attempted killing of a teenager named Rock Lee.

"About a year after the attempt, Kimmimaro was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. The doctors gave him three months at most. But one day in the middle of his third month, a girl ended up sharing his hospital room after she got a minor concussion from cliff diving. She showed him compassion that no one had shown him before. It was she that showed him what kind of person he wanted to be. So we began talking and I helped him fight his battle with cancer. Kimmimaro lived for nine months longer than the doctors had predicted and it was all for one girl who changed his life. When he knew she had a need for a funeral, he took his own life."

By the time Itachi finished, I was bawling silently. I wiped my tears as I stood to speak.

"I met Kimmimaro once. It was after I had awakened in a hospital room from getting a concussion. I'd heard someone in my shared room calling for water. No nurse would've possibly heard his soft voice so I gave him his water for him. He called me his guardian angel. After I had properly introduced myself as a mortal, not an angel, Kimmimaro told me of his medical condition. Just then, my friends came in and told me to get away from him. When I refused, they told me of his dark past. That was the first and last time I saw Kimmy-kun. I went to visit him today to find a letter addressed to me. I found out that he'd taken his life for me," I finished blubbering over my words. Itachi took my hand and hugged me as I watched the coffin lowered into the ground.

I knew Kimmy-kun told me not to cry… but if I wouldn't cry for him, who would?

-x-

**22. Attend a funeral**

_**Kimmimaro took himself off life support so I could do this task. Itachi and I were the only ones at his funeral. Rest In Peace, Kimmimaro.**_

-x-

"Sakura, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, after all that's happened today…" Itachi said worriedly.

It was already five pm and I had one more task to do.

"We could wait until tomorrow," he suggested.

"Well if we wait until tomorrow, then there won't be a bounce house," I informed him.

My normal peppy attitude hadn't fully returned yet but because Kimmy-kun would've wanted me to be happy, I was trying to act as normally as possible.

Itachi sighed in defeat.

"Where do you want to go for the bounce house?" he asked with a small smile.

"Well, it seems that some kid who looks way too young to be on facebook is ranting about his birthday party and that there's a bounce house present. I figured we'd crash his party a bit," I shrugged.

"So it'll just be you and me?" Itachi confirmed. I laughed at him.

"Of course not, silly! I'm inviting the whole Akatsuki!" I told him, giggling. I swear, his eyes bulged.

-x-

"What the fuck is a bounce house again?" Hidan asked. The tanned man beside him elbowed him sharply.

"It's a giant castle structure made entirely of rubber and air. It costs a lot of money to rent or buy one," the tanned man grumbled. I now knew this man as Kakuzu, aka the guy who has an impeccable taste in cars. I was in his currency-covered car when I almost got ticketed by a cop because I was DTF (Driving Too Fast, obviously). Also he's known as a greedy bastard.

"What's the birthday kid's name?" Kisame asked from the front seat.

I looked down at the electronic invite the kid had posted on his Facebook Wall that proclaimed that anyone and everyone could come to his party.

"Uh, Tobi."

"Sounds like a monster, un," Deidara shuddered.

"He may be a monster but he has a bounce house at his birthday party so we're going," I huffed.

"How old is the kid again?" Pein added, his arm draped lazily over Konan's shoulder. (I TOLD you they had a thing!)

"The invite doesn't actually say…" I told him, scanning the invite again.

"Well we'll figure it out once we get there," Zetsu shrugged. I eyed him; he was a weirdo, that was for sure, with his green messy hair and skin that was half tanned to a crisp and half pale as a sheet. (But he was sexy so I could easily overlook his oddness)

"Which is right now," Itachi announced.

I grinned as I opened the door of the limo. I stepped out onto the asphalt of the street and waited for the rest of the Akatsuki to filter out.

"TO THE BOUNCE HOUSE!" I screamed, charging to the house with the huge sign on the front yard that said, "TOBI'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!" The Akatsuki followed me enthusiastically.

We charged into the backyard and froze. The entire yard was filled with kids of every age, from little toddlers to teenagers. Sitting upon a fake throne at the other end of the huge backyard was a teenager who looked about 18 with an eye patch.

"MORE GUESTS!" the boy yelled, practically prancing to us.

"Welcome to Tobi's birthday! Tobi has been such a good boy that he got this awesome party! Feel free to have fun!" he said with an adorable grin.

"Oh, hey there, kid. Do you know where Tobi is, though?" I asked him politely. He pointed at himself.

"Tobi is Tobi! And Tobi is a good boy!" he giggled.

"I told you he was a monster," I heard Deidara mutter under his breath.

"Nice to meet you, Tobi! I'm Sakura!" I smiled, ignoring the irate blond.

"Sakura-chan is so pretty!" Tobi gushed.

"Thank you, Tobi. Would you mind if my friends and I use your bounce house?"

"Not at all! Tobi wants everybody to have fun!" Tobi squealed.

"Thanks Tobi!" I said, gesturing to the Akatsuki.

"ONWARD!" I yelled, running at full speed to the bounce house.

"Kisame, you know what to do!" I commanded. Kisame flashed me a sharky grin and dove into the flap that covered the opening of the bounce house.

"RAWR!" I heard him yell, making the several small children in the bounce house scream and come running out of the bouncy heaven.

"It's all clear," Kisame called. I led the Akatsuki into the jumbo-sized bounce house, and when we were all about to start jumping and having fun, a voice interrupted.

"I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU!" a little kid boomed, standing in a courageous pose before Kisame. Apparently he hadn't been scared out of the house.

"Oh, yeah, kid?" Kisame purred, inching closer to the little boy.

"YEAH!"

Then the kid did something that made me absolutely fall in love with him.

He used the bouncy properties of the floor to launch himself up and knee Kisame in between the legs.

Kisame fell to the floor with a loud groan while the Akatsuki and I laughed uncontrollably at his suffering. The boy placed a foot on Kisame's writhing body with a victorious grin. Then he beat his chest with his fists while making the most accurate gorilla call I'd ever heard.

"What's your name?" I laughed, wiping my tears of laughter. The kid dead panned.

"Kabutomaru," he said with a completely serious face.

"…" I stared at him, dissecting his name in my mind.

_Kabuto…._

_**Maru…**_

_Orochimaru?_

_**GET AWAY FROM THE KID! HE'S BEEN POISONED!**_

"Tell me, _Kabutomaru,_" I cringed on his name, "who are your parents?"

"Oh, I'm adopted. My parents are gay. My dads' names are Kabuto and Orochimaru. I was named after them," Kabutomaru informed me.

Sasori let out a little scream.

"GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!" I shrieked, hiding in the protection of Itachi's shadow.

Kisame grunted as he got up and picked Kabutomaru up with one hand and then he did the most incredulous thing.

He ripped Kabutomaru's shirt off.

"Kisame, it's against the law to molest small children," I called from behind Itachi.

"Well then it's a good thing he's not a small child," Kisame growled. I blinked, staring at Kabutomaru.

"There's something off about that kid…" I murmured.

"WELL DUH. HIS ENTIRE CHEST IS MADE OF METAL," Kisame roared. He stared into Kabutomaru's eyes. Then he shoved him over to us. We looked into Kabutomaru's eyes too. What looked like dozens of programming codes streamed across his glassy eyes.

I gasped.

"He's… a robot!" I whispered, pointing an accusatory finger at Kabutomaru.

"Exactly."

"How did you know?" I asked Kisame.

"The first clue was when he wasn't scared of me. Hell, I scare Hidan sometimes when he finds me napping in bed –"

"THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING EXPECT A FUCKING FREAK SLEEPING IN MY FUCKING BED!" Hidan spat angrily.

"The second clue was when he was challenging me and I put my face in his. I stared into his eyes and saw all the programming codes. And what confirmed my suspicions was when he did that gorilla sound. In third grade I had an obsession with gorillas and my iPod was filled with gorilla calls. That one was my favorite. It was a recording; I'd recognize it anywhere – WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" Kisame broke off his speech with a glare in my direction.

"YOU HAD A GORILLA FETISH!" I snorted, my laughter tears coming again.

Kisame's blue-tinted skin reddened.

"I DID NOT!"

In what seemed like frustration, Kisame proceeded to pick up Kabutomaru's robotic body and launch it through the open ceiling of the bounce house. I watched as Kabutomaru did a Team Rocket move and disappeared in a little star in the sky.

"BYE KABUTOMARU!" I yelled after the twinkle.

"Hey Sakura?" Madara tapped my shoulder.

"Hm?"

"Weren't we supposed to have fun or whatever in this bounce house?" he wondered, hinting at something that was, for once, not perverted.

"OH YEAH!"

And with that, I shoved Itachi out of my way and leapt into the air and onto the bouncy floor, in turn making everyone else bounce. Before I knew it, everyone was jumping around and laughing and having fun.

I grinned.

-x-

**23. You are NEVER too old for a bounce house! Go find one and enjoy it!**

_**Did you know that Orochimaru and Kabuto had a robot baby named Kabutomaru? He was a pretty pimpin' kid until I found out he was a robot. But he gave me a couple of good laughs before Kisame launched him into the sun. And when Kabutomaru was gone, the Akatsuki and I had a blast in the bounce house. :) What a great way to end this list.**_

-x-

_**:DDDDDD**_

_**IT… IS… DONE! xD**_

_**I loved writing about Kabutomaru. I was planning to make him a super cool kid but then I realized that I'd be making unnecessary OCs and whatever. So I combined the creepers in the story and VOILA, Kabutomaru was born. There were several times where I wrote Konohamaru instead of Kabutomaru. They're very similar, you see. But anyway.**_

**_Truth be told, I hate the ending. It's all cheesy. Liek, OMFG YAY FUN._**

**_HOW CAN ONE HAVE FUN WHEN KIMMY-KUN IS DEAD? THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY, I TELL YOU! NO POSSIBLE WAY!_**

**_Anyway, check out my profile to see some stories that I'm working on, as well as the link to the original "20 Ways to Feel ALIVE!" :D I added a little monologue in there so read that too *heart*_**

**_Thanks so so soooo much for reading and have a freaking_ _AWESOME life :) PM me up if you ever get the chance! I've got killer conversational skillz :P_**

_**R**_

_**E**_

_**V**_

_**I**_

_**E**_

_**W**_

_**!**_

_O__r __**D**_**i**e ***h**_e__a__**r**_**t**_*_

_Thanks for reading! I LOVE YOU. :U_


End file.
